


Somewhere Over the Rainbow

by Nevraukowen



Series: Somewhere Over the Rainbow [1]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, Wizard Of Oz (1939)
Genre: AU, Background Het, F/M, M/M, Parody, Romantic Comedy, Slash, Wizard of Oz AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2017-11-20 03:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevraukowen/pseuds/Nevraukowen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A slashy retelling of The Wizard of Oz</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Attention: This was written back in 2005 or there abouts...  
> Warnings: Slash of course, and un-beta'd as well. Also, it's a fairly blatant rip off of the Wizard of Oz, with just a few twists.  
> Website:fictitiousshore on LJ and FF.net

 

"Sidi!", Orlando called. He was leaning over the rickety paint flecked fence that surrounded his mothers farm.  
  
"SIDI!", he yelled again when there was no answering bark. Orlando squinted into the distance. Not that there was much to see, the land was pretty flat and other than his mothers vegetables and the animal pens it was deserted.  
  
Orlando rocked back on his heels and smoothed his pinstripe vest over his white linen shirt. Where was his dog? Sidi had an unfortunate habit of running off onto neighboring farms and making mischief.   
  
Hearing voices bickering Orlando turned around and jogged in their direction. He found the source of the conversation outside the pig pen. Viggo and Sean, his mothers field hands, were squabbling as they filled the trow with slops.  
  
"Viggo! Sean!", Orlando called, "Have you guys seen Sidi?"  
  
Viggo, the older of the two men, put down his bucket once it was empty and leaned against the pen with his hip as he looked over at the younger man.  
  
"No. Why? Did Sidi run off on you again?", he asked sounding concerned. At Orlando's nod he continued thoughtfully, "Well, I wouldn't worry. Sidi can take care of himself. He'll wander back in eventually".  
  
Orlando smiled, relieved by the assurance.  
  
Once Sean had emptied his bucket he dropped it with a bang and turned to Orlando, "That dog is gonna get you it big trouble one of these days lad, you mark my words".  
  
"Oh come on Sean", Orlando defended, "Sidi wouldn't hurt a fly. He's gentle as a lamb".  
  
"With you maybe, but he's a big fella' to let wander as he pleases", Sean argued.   
  
Orlando rolled his eyes before hopping up to sit on the edge of the pen.  
  
"Orli lad, get the hell down from there", Sean ordered immediately.  
  
"Don't worry Sean. I'll be fine", Orlando laughed from his perch.  
  
"Yeah Sean", Viggo countered with a smile still leaning on the pen, "the kid will be fine. What could happen?"  
  
"What could happen", Sean said mimicking Viggo's tone, " is that he could fall in and get hurt. You might not have the brains to realize that killing the boss' son will get you fired, but I do. Now down with you lad", Sean finished grabbing for Orlando's arm.  
  
Orlando hopped down with a sigh. Before looking off into the distance and smiling, "Sidi!", he exclaimed happily before noticing that his dog was being practically dragged over by one of the neighbors.  
  
"What the hell is she doing?", Viggo said in shock as Orlando ran over to get his dog.  
  
After jumping the fence Orlando ran a bit more down the road till he reached his dog and the neighbor girl. Her blonde hair was pulled back into pig tails and she wore a pale blue floral dress with an apron tied around her waist emphasizing her sickly thin frame. When she saw him she stopped trying to yank Sidi's neck off with the leash attached to his collar and smiled.  
  
"Orli! There you are! Look who I found!", she said kneeling down next to Sidi and giving him a hug. She backed away quickly though when he growled at her.  
  
"Humph! That's gratitude for you!", she said angrily.  
  
Orlando reached over and took the leash from her, "Thanks Kate, I've been looking for him all day. I hope he didn't cause you any trouble."  
  
Sidi pranced over haughtily before settling at Orli's feet and licking his hand in hello. Orlando smiled and patted his head.  
  
"Oh! It wasn't any trouble", Kate enthused, "I love animals. Especially Sidi. Plus I knew you'd be looking for him".   
  
It was known throughout the county that Kate Bosworth had her eye on Orlando Bloom. Her parents (owners of the second most successful farm in the area) were ecstatic that she was so taken with him, hoping that maybe the farms could unite. Mrs. Bloom on the other hand, knew a gold digger when she saw one. She didn't like how fake Kate could act around her son, the girl even pretended to like his dog, despite telling half the town that, "the thing was a menace and should be put down".   
  
"Right", Orlando said, "thanks".  
  
"Well anyway Orli, I was thinking that maybe a reward would be in order?", Kate asked with a sly smile.  
  
"A reward?", Orlando repeated fearfully.  
  
Kate took a step closer and started toying with the buttons on Orlando's vest, "Maybe dinner... a movie... and maybe if you're a good boy, you'll get a reward too".  
  
Orlando's eyes widened as he took a step back. Sidi growled and snapped at Kate, nearly taking off her hand.  
  
"Ow! God! Mangy beast", Kate said cradling her hand as she pulled back a leg in preparation to kick Sidi.  
  
"Hey!", Orlando protested grabbing at Kate's shoulder to stop the violent action, "Don't hurt Sidi, he didn't mean any harm!"  
  
"Didn't mean any harm!?", Kate said angrily, "He nearly took my hand off!"  
  
Orlando let go of Kate's shoulder and patted Sidi's head comfortingly. Kate in turn , made a visible effort to calm her self, and smiling sweetly asked, "So are we on for tonight then?"  
  
Orlando ducked his head in embarrassment before replying quietly, "Ummmm... Kate, I'd really rather not".   
  
Kate's eyes narrowed, "excuse me?", she asked shortly.  
  
"Well, the thing is", Orlando replied quickly, falling to his old habit of babbling when he was nervous, "it's just that...that I don't like you. Wait no! That's a terrible thing to say, and not what I meant. What I mean is that I don't like you like that. Like a girlfriend, I mean. You're great, and pretty, and I am sure a lot of people love the frail little flower thing you have going for you, but you're just not my type".  
  
Kate looked about ready to explode, "And what is your type, exactly?"  
  
Orlando blushed, " I don't think that's the issue. Suffice it to say, that you're not it. I am sorry Kate, really I am. It's not you, it's me".  
  
Orlando realized that the last sentence had pushed things too far when Kate started turning red. Kate's breathing sped up and her nostrils flared. When she opened her mouth Orlando cringed in anticipation, but all Kate did was take a steadying breath.  
  
"Well Orlando" Kate continued in an icy tone, "I am sorry too. I am sorry about a lot of things. Sorry that I am not your type. Sorry that I was under the mistaken impression that you were worth my trouble. And I am terribly sorry, that I am going to have to go to animal control about that dangerous creature you call a dog. The thing is a menace, I am sure the authorities will agree with me".  
  
"You wouldn't!?", Orlando exclaimed.  
  
"Why not? That monstrosity nearly ate my hand, and it's not the first time. I've put up with it for you're sake, but no more. After all, I am not your type!", Kate explained harshly.   
  
With that said, she strode off back down the road toward her family's farm. She didn't look back, but if she had, she would have seen a terrified young man staring after her and hugging his beloved pet.

 


	2. Actions and Repercussions

 

As soon as Kate was out of sight Orlando ran home with Sidi on his heels. When he burst into the kitchen Sean and Viggo were sitting down to lunch with his mother. The three older people immediately noticed Orlando's state of panic and asked him what was wrong.  
  
After hearing about Kate's threat everyone reacted differently. Sonia was just as upset as Orlando. Viggo was soothing and sympathetic, he kept trying to assure Orlando and his mother that no one was cruel enough to take away a boys' dog on the word of a girl who didn't even have an actual wound. Sean was livid and started pacing the room. Viggo's words might have assuaged some of Orlando's fear, but Sean was doubtful that they were true.  
  
***  
  
Early the next morning Orlando was awakened by the sound of a vans' engine backfiring. Once Orlando was awake enough to recognize the sound he shot out of bed and began to get dressed. He pulled on his brown pants and a pale pink button down shirt. Once he was ready he ran out of the room with Sidi on his heels.  
  
The sound of a van backfiring was the tell tale sign that Dave was around. Dave Wenham was the local veterinarian. He shared an office with the doctor, Hugo Weaving. Everyone in town loved Dave for his shy intelligent nature, everyone that is, except for Sean. Very few people knew the reason behind Sean's apparent animosity towards Dave.  
  
Viggo had once told Orlando the whole story. When Sean had first come to the farm he had quickly earned a reputation as a "heartless bastard", for his treatment of the string of men and women he had courted. Sean had bedded half the town, and never more than once per person.  
  
That was the problem with Dave. Upon seeing the gorgeous red head Sean had immediately began his quest to seduce him. Dave's quiet personality had made this somewhat difficult, as he tended to blush, stutter and make excuses to leave whenever Sean tried anything. Eventually, the inevitable happened, and Dave gave into Sean's advances.  
  
The next day, when Dave came around to visit Sean at the farm, the younger man had been shocked by the cold reception he received. Sean had apparently lost all interest in the veterinarian. It had taken an unfortunately long amount of time for Dave to realize what had happened. He'd been crushed by the rejection and to this day wasn't comfortable being in the same room as Sean.  
  
When Orlando had first heard the story, he'd been aghast. Dave was one of Orlando's favorite people. He really admired the older man's mien as well as his love for animals and ability to heal. Orlando practically idolized Dave and took this affront somewhat personally.  
  
However, after a few days of watching Sean's behavior whenever Dave came around, Orlando came to a conclusion. Sean was obviously besotted with Dave. Despite his refusals to be drawn into polite conversation whenever Dave collected the nerve to attempt it, Sean was constantly following Dave around. His eyes never left the veterinarian as he puttered around checking on the animals.  
  
Orlando had made it his mission to see that the two men got together. He was constantly convincing his mother that something was wrong with some animal or another on the farm, thereby necessitating constant visits from Dave. Orlando was also always trying to force the two of them into being alone. Sooner or later, they would realize that they were in love with each other and all would be right in the world.  
  
As Orlando skid to a stop at the end of the driveway he was met with a confusing sight. Viggo, Sean, his mother, and Dave were standing around looking glum. His mother and Dave both looked especially distraught. As Orlando got closer, he started to hear snippets of the conversation.  
  
"I really am sorry Mrs. Bloom" , Dave said softly.  
  
"Oh, this is terrible!", his mother replied as Sean and Viggo stood by morosely.  
  
"What's wrong?", Orlando asked as he finally reached them, "Is one of the animals sick?"  
  
Dave glanced over at Orlando and Sidi and quickly looked down. "Orlando", he began, before raising his head to meet Orlando's eyes, "I don't know how to tell you this, but I am afraid I am the bearer of bad news. When I came into the office this morning there were some papers on my desk, it turns out they were orders for the collection and destruction of a violent pet".  
  
Orlando looked at Sidi, "You can't mean..."  
  
"I am so sorry Orli", Dave said sincerely, "but I am going to have to take Sidi with me"  
  
Orlando stepped in front of Sidi to shield him.  
  
"Please Orlando", Dave pleaded, "don't make this any harder than it already is".  
  
"But Dave, you can't seriously mean to put Sidi down! You know he wouldn't hurt anybody. You know him!", Orlando argued.  
  
Dave sighed sadly, "I know Orlando, and I hate it. But I haven't a choice, the order comes straight from the top".  
  
Orlando's eyes misted over and he looked to Sean and Viggo to help, "Isn't there anything we can do!"  
  
Both older men looked at him sadly.  
  
Turning back to Dave, Orlando continued, "I won't let you take him. I wont!"  
  
"It isn't his fault lad", Sean defended, "I always warned you about that dog".  
  
Sonia nodded and moved over to her son, taking his hand, "Orlando, this isn't up to us. There isn't anything we can do. I already looked over the papers, everything is legitimate".  
  
Dave walked over to Sidi and attached a leash to his collar.  
  
"No!", Orlando cried, running over to Sidi, "Dave Please!"  
  
Dave gave Orlando a soft look and put a hand on his shoulder, "If you don't let me take him, somebody else will come later. I am truly sorry Orli, but this is the way it has to be".  
  
Viggo walked over and after nodding at Dave, took Orlando by the arm and tried to lead him away. Orlando allowed it, but turned his head to keep Sidi in his sights. He didn't look away until Dave put the large dog in the van and the two of them drove away.  
  
***  
  
The Bloom farm had been fairly silent since Dave and Sidi's departure. Orlando had spent the whole morning in his room crying and everyone had left him alone out of respect for his grief.  
  
Orlando was lying face-down on his bed, sobbing into his pillow when he heard a familiar scratching sound at his window. His head shot up and he sprang to the window with his heart full of hope. Orlando took in a relieved gasp when he saw Sidi standing beneath his window and wagging his tail.  
  
Sidi stared at him with big lonely eyes and Orlando smiled. As he got up to go outside Sidi let out a small bark. Orlando rushed back to the window and put his finger to lips, silencing his pet, before quietly ordering Sidi to stay.  
  
Orlando made his way to the front of the house and was almost out the door when he was stopped by his mothers voice.  
  
"Orlando, are you alright?"  
  
Looking over and finding his mother washing dishes at the sink, Orlando sighed and wiped away some of the residual tears clinging to his face, "I'll be okay mum, I just need some time to myself. I think I'll go take a walk".  
  
"Alright honey", she replied, "just be back in time for supper. You've missed breakfast and lunch already and you need to eat something".  
  
Orlando nodded and hastily made his way outside. He tried to be as casual as possible as he walked around to his own window, but as soon as he spotted Sidi, he couldn't help but run over and pull Sidi into a tight hug.  
  
"Oh, thank God you're alright! But how did you get away? You're such a good dog Sidi. And you've got brains to match you looks!"  
  
Sidi licked happily at Orlando's face, causing the young man to giggle softly.  
  
"I am sorry I let them take you away boy. I wont let it happen again, I'll hide you somewhere that they'll never find you."  
  
Orlando looked around, checking that the cost was clear.  
  
"I've got to get you out of here. Kate will never give up. We've got to run away. Far away. Somewhere that they'll never think to look for us".  
  
Standing up, the boy and his dog walked straight off the Bloom property and snuck down the road. Orlando was careful to keep them out of sight as they slowly made their way toward the county line.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be adding about a chapter a day until this is all posted :)


	3. Running away

  
Orlando and Sidi walked until it was nearly dusk. They'd walked far enough that Orlando wasn't as familiar with the terrain as he had been up until that point. While they walked Orlando had talked soothingly to Sidi and babbled on almost endlessly.   
  
"I don't know exactly where I plan on taking you. I'll think of something though, you'll see. The world is a big place and it's full of places where we'll be able to hide. Mum used to tell me about this wonderful place, over the rainbow, she called it. It was just part of a lullaby though, but wouldn't it be great if it were real? How did the song go again?"   
  
Orlando thought hard until he could almost hear his mothers voice.  
  
 _~ Somewhere over the rainbow_  
 _Skies are blue_  
 _And the dreams that you dare to dream_  
 _Really do come true_  
  
 _Someday I'll wish upon a star_  
 _And wake up where the clouds are far behind me_  
 _Where troubles melt like lemon drops_  
 _Away above the chimney tops_  
 _That's where you'll find me_  
  
 _Somewhere over the rainbow_  
 _Bluebirds fly_  
 _Birds fly over the rainbow_  
 _Why then oh why can't I?_  
  
 _If happy little bluebirds fly_  
 _Across the rainbow_  
 _Why oh why can't I? ~_  
  
"That would be perfect for us, wouldn't it Sidi?"  
  
When he finally ran out of things to say Orlando looked around. Was that smoke he saw in the distance?  
  
Orlando patted the back of Sidi's neck and took off in a jog in the direction of the smoke, Sidi running happily beside him. After running over a hill Orlando saw the source of the smoke. Down in the valley there was small campsite. It consisted of a trailer, a pick-up truck, and a roaring fire.  
  
The sight of the fire reminded Orlando that the evening was rather cool, and he had left home without his jacket. The boy and his dog slowed their pace as they approached the apparently empty camp.   
  
"Hello?", Orlando called.  
  
Silence. Sidi padded over to the trailer and sniffed at the door. Orlando took the hint and stepped forward to join Sidi.   
  
"Hello?", Orlando called again, slightly louder this time.  
  
Still no response. Orlando raised his hand as though to knock, but before he managed to go through with it the door burst open and the strangest looking man Orlando had ever seen stepped out.  
  
The man was almost as tall as Orlando and about ten years older. His hair was long and twisted into dreadlocks and the top of his head was covered in a dark red bandana that was tied at the back of his head as well as with a grey bowler that rested atop the bandana. The rest of his garments were strange, mismatched, ill-fitting, and dirty. He wore a loose white shirt that laced up the front with an equally large black vest that was covered in hundreds of eclectic shirt buttons so that a muted clinking was heard whenever he moved. His trousers were brown and just as oversized as the rest of his clothing, they were held around his waist with a dark blue sash that was threaded through the belt loops. The suspenders attached to his pants hung down around his legs. His eyes were lined heavily in kohl and his mustache curled at the corners of his mouth.   
  
He spotted Orlando almost immediately, and pulled a bow while removing his hat.  
"Johnny Depp at your service, young sir. You've come to avail yourself of my preternatural skills I suppose?"  
  
Orlando watched him with wide eyes before taking a step back and clumsily bowing back.  
  
"I am Orlando, and this is my dog Sidi. We haven't come to avail ourselves of anything... we aren't even sure exactly where we are. Did you say preternatural services? What does that mean?", Orlando spouted self-consciously.   
  
Johnny raised an eyebrow before turning with a flourish and motioning extravagantly to the side of the trailer. Orlando squinted in the dim light and was just able to make out a faint script on the trailer.   
  
{ **The Amazing Depp: Cosmic Advisor to His Majesty** }  
  
"His majesty?", Orlando questioned, "isn't that like a king? You're a royal advisor?"  
  
"You could say that", Johnny replied smoothly.  
  
"Which king then?", Orlando asked excitedly.  
  
"None."  
  
"But you said you were a royal advisor", Orlando said confusedly.  
  
"No", Johnny corrected, "I said that you could say I was a royal advisor. Not that it was true".  
  
"But your trailer", Orlando argued, " it says you're the 'cosmic advisor to his majesty'. What else could that mean?"  
  
"It means exactly what it says my boy, advisor to his majesty", Johnny replied with a smile.  
  
"Whose majesty?", Orlando countered.  
  
"Why my own of course!", Johnny exclaimed, "Who else's majesty would be worth advising?"  
  
Orlando laughed, "You're a strange man Mr. Depp, but I think I like you. Just out of interest, what exactly do you do?"  
  
"I", Johnny said proudly, "am a fortune teller. Care to have your fortune read?"  
  
Orlando nodded and Johnny led him into the trailer. The trailer was decorated like a gypsy caravan; it was crowded and messy with knickknacks and draperies. Once the two men were seated at a low table Johnny ripped back a dark clothe revealing a crystal ball sitting on an intricate stone base.  
  
The younger man stared into the crystal ball as Johnny lit some candles. The light from the flamed flickered and danced in the ball. Orlando looked up when Johnny cleared his throat. The fortune teller was sitting opposite him and holding out his hand.  
  
Orlando stared at him blankly for a moment before catching on. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a few crumbled bills. He separated one bill and put it on Johnny's hand. Johnny studied the bill before nodding and pocketing it.  
  
"Now", Johnny said, tilting his chin up and reaching out across the table with both hands, "take my hands and close your eyes".   
  
Orlando took a deep breath and followed the instructions.   
  
Johnny gazed searchingly at the boys face for a second, before thinking back to their conversation. The boy had mentioned being lost hadn't he? but he was well dressed and had money.  
  
"You aren't very far from home", Johnny began, noticing how Orlando tensed in response.   
  
"You're running away from home, but you haven't gotten very far. You have a family waiting for you. I can see them, they already know you're missing. They are very worried about you. I see a woman, she's older, but beautiful, looks a bit like you."  
  
"That's mum", Orlando whispered.  
  
Johnny smiled, "and she's, why, she's crying!"  
  
"Crying?", Orlando asked worriedly.   
  
"Yes, she's so sad, and afraid. She's worried about you. I also see an older man, he's trying to comfort her, but she's inconsolable".  
  
"That must be Viggo", Orlando said, "he takes such good care of us".  
  
"Oh no!", Johnny said opening one eye to watch the effect of his words on the boy.  
  
"What is it!", Orlando demanded, "What's wrong?"  
  
Johnny smiled, he'd have this kid back where he belonged in no time, "Something's wrong with your mother! She's fallen to her knees. She's fainted!"  
  
Orlando opened his eyes and pulled away.  
  
"No! Oh, I should never have left her! This is all my fault!", Orli said running out of the trailer.  
  
Johnny covered the crystal ball again before joining Orlando outside. He sat down by the fire and started to prepare himself some dinner, as he watched the boy pace back and forth. Sidi, who had been watching Orlando since he rushed out of the trailer, turned his attention to the stranger.  
  
Orlando only slowed his pacing when he became aware of the smell of roasting meat. The sound of Sidi sniffing loudly caused him to react.  
  
"Stop it Sidi, we haven't been asked yet", he said as he finally stopped and turned to look at Johnny and Sidi.  
  
All of the blood in Orlando's body seemed to rush to his face as he took in the scene before him. Johnny was batting Sidi's inquisitive nose away from his crotch, not his meal, as Orlando had assumed.  
  
"Oh! I'm so sorry... I didn't mean... I thought Sidi was after you're dinner, we haven't eaten all day", Orlando squeaked at near hysterical speed.  
  
Johnny smirked at the younger man for a while, before taking pity on him and patting the ground beside himself.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I'd be happy to treat you to a meal before you go... Where are you going by the way?"  
  
Orlando fell to the ground next to his host and sighed.  
  
"I don't know anymore. I was going to run away, but with mum being ill and all, I can't bear to leave her".  
  
"So why don't you go back?", Johnny asked, ripping a bite of meat off of the stick it had been cooking on.   
  
"It's not that easy!", Orlando explained, "If we go back, they'll take Sidi away and put him to sleep!"  
  
"That is a conundrum", Johnny said through a mouthful of food, before extending some to Orlando who immediately ripped it in half to share with his dog.  
  
Johnny grinned at the action and patted Sidi on the head.  
  
Orlando watched him and his eyes lit up, "I have an idea! I could leave Sidi with you and go home to take care of mum! Sidi wouldn't be any trouble, I swear it!"  
  
The psychic looked the dog over carefully, "He is a well mannered pooch".  
  
"Please!", Orlando begged, "It's a matter of life or death! Sidi here is the best dog in the world, you wouldn't regret it! I'd never let him go myself, but I haven't a choice!"  
  
Johnny took Sidi by the chin and tilted the dog's head from side to side, "I could use a bit of company from time to time", the man agreed, "alright then. Sidi will stay with me and live a long happy life, and you'll go home to your family and do the same".  
  
Orlando reached out and pulled Johnny into a tight hug, "Thank you so much!"  
  
That said the young man went over to his dog, and pulled him into a similar hug, "I'll never forget you boy, you were the best friend I could have wished for".  
  
Sidi leaned over and licked Orlando's face sadly, as though he realized what was happening.  
  
"I love you too Sidi", Orlando whispered. holding back a sob. Taking a deep breath Orlando pulled away, "Stay", he commanded backing away slowly.  
  
He walked backwards all the way to the bottom of the hill before turning around and breaking into a run. He could barely see through his tears as he ran, but he heard Johnny shout something at him.   
  
"Hurry up and get home kid! It looks like a storm is coming!"

 

 

 


	4. The Tornado

 

Dave pulled his rickety van into the Bloom farm. He didn't know how it had happened, but Sidi had somehow escaped. As close as Dave could figure, the back door must have fallen open and the dog must have jumped out while the van was still moving. Now, he was under the unfortunate responsibility of having to see if Sidi had found his way home.  
  
It had been hard enough for Dave to come the first time. He was really very fond of Orlando, and it had been terrible having to take away the boys' best friend. To top it off, Sean had been standing there. Even if the older man had tried to help, Dave couldn't help but feel like Sean was judging him for what he was doing. But then, how could someone NOT judge him? Dave felt like the villain in a Hardy Boy's book.   
  
He opened the door and braced himself against the wind. It looked like they were in for quite a storm. Dave climbed the stairs to the porch and knocked. After a moment Viggo opened the door.  
  
"Dave?", he said in surprise, "what are you doing here?"  
  
"Sidi got away. Not that I am not relieved, mind you, but I had to come and at least check to see if he'd managed to get back to Orlando".  
  
"I haven't seen Sidi", Viggo said apologetically, "But then I haven't seen Orlando either... Mrs. Bloom says he was supposed to be back an hour ago. I told her he's probably off in the hills somewhere grieving, but you know how mothers are".  
  
Dave nodded absently as his gaze was drawn upwards by a roll of thunder. Viggo joined him at staring at the sky for a moment before smiling.  
  
"Why don't you come in for a while, wait out the storm", he offered.  
  
Dave shook his head, "I'd really rather not, plus it's probably best if I get back to work, help Hugo close up shop".  
  
"You can't mean to drive that wreck right through this storm!", Viggo said incredulously, "Have you gone insane? I don't think Hugo would want you risking it".  
  
Shifting from foot to foot nervously Dave said, "It's just... Well, call me a coward, but I'd rather not end up stuck in the same room with Sean, which invariably happens every time I come here".  
  
Viggo laughed, "That's Orlando's doing. Didn't you know? He's been trying to set you to up for ages. Ever since I told him..."  
  
Dave's eyes widened, "You TOLD him! What did you tell him Viggo!?"  
  
Viggo studied his shoes, "Pretty much everything", he whispered.  
  
Dave closed his eyes and groaned in humiliated misery.  
  
"I am so sorry Dave, I didn't mean to. But Orlando knew something was going on, he'd have figured it out eventually. Plus, you know I can't resist it when he makes puppy-eyes at me".  
  
Dave held up a hand to stall any further excuses, "It's alright Viggo, I know you didn't mean any harm. And you're right, Orlando would have figured it out, or someone else would have told him".  
  
Viggo nodded and shook Dave's hand, "Thanks".  
  
The men smiled at each other as a particularly gusty wind hit them from the side. Viggo tightened his grip on Dave's hand and started to pull him inside, "No way am I letting you drive back in this, just stay for awhile, I promise I'll be a buffer between you and Sean".  
  
Dave smiled and reluctantly went inside.  
  
***  
  
Johnny had held Sidi back by his collar as Orlando ran away. Once the boy was out of sight, Johnny let go and walked back to the trailer and began closing the shutters. Thunder crashed loudly in the distance.  
  
"You'll like it here, pooch. Lot's of room to run and all that. You have the privilege of joining be on my labyrinthine and ribald adventures. I've been traveling without a companion for awhile, so this will take some getting used to, but I'll be glad for the company. It's already nice having someone to talk to. "  
  
Once all the shutters were closed Johnny turned to take his new sidekick inside, only to find himself facing an empty campground.  
  
"Goddamn-it!", he exclaimed, shaking his head. He spared a last look in the direction that Orlando had ran, before stepping into the trailer.  
  
"That wasn't my fault", he said as he closed the door, the wind pushing the movement into a full-blown slam.  
  
***  
  
The wind battering the side of the house had been increasing in speed ever since Dave entered. Sonia, Dave and Viggo had sat in the living room nervously chatting until the sound of their voices became hard to hear over the roaring storm. After that they sat in silence.  
  
Sean burst into the room breathing hard. He pressed himself against the door to force it shut.  
  
"I couldn't find him", Sean gasped out, "It's getting really bad out there, I think we better get into the storm cellar".  
  
"No!", Sonia said desperately, "What if he comes back!"  
  
Viggo moved closer and put a soothing hand on the worried woman's arm, "Come on Sonia, it's not safe here. Orlando is probably holed up at one of the neighbors farms. He'd want you to be safe too".  
  
Dave stood up and moved to help Sonia do the same, "Strange as it may seem, Viggo's right".  
  
This declaration was punctuated by the house creaking mightily in protest to the pounding winds.  
  
Sean nodded as he opened the door and Viggo guided Sonia outside. Dave hesitated, standing before Sean as though about to say something, before quickly following his friends. Sean watched as Dave jogged into the storm.  
  
***  
  
Orlando ran and never looked back. He ran through his tears and sobs, telling himself that it was all for the best. He ran through the winds as they lashed at his body, impeding his progress. He kept running when it started raining and lightning lit the sky, he kept running once the rain had stopped. He ran through the pain in his chest, that was either his aching lungs or his acing heart, he didn't let himself think about it long enough to decipher which.  
  
In fact, he didn't stop running until he reached the fence that he knew signified the edge of their property. He tiredly forced himself over the fence, and leaning against it, hoping to catch his breath before running into anyone.  
  
Just then Orlando felt something warm nuzzling into his hand. Looking down, he was shocked to see Sidi at his side.  
  
"No!", Orlando cried out helplessly, "You're not safe here!"  
  
The young man looked at the sky, which was full of clouds that were nearly black. They were close to the ground too, creating what looked like a dark wall descending from the sky.  
  
"The weather's too bad for me to take you back, you'll have to hide out in my room overnight. I'll take you back in the morning. As long as no one sees you everything will be okay. Come on boy!"  
  
Together they forced their way through the strong winds and along the back of the property all the way to outside Orlando's window. Orlando pushed the window open as far as it would go, before motioning for Sidi to jump through. Sidi, the ever obedient dog, jumped through with ease. Orlando climbed through after him. Once inside he shut the window with relish, relieved to be inside again.  
  
After easing Sid under his bed and telling him to be quiet. Orlando made his way through the rest of the house calling for his mother. When she didn't answer he started looking for Viggo or Sean. Hearing the house groan in resistance to the storm Orlando came to a realization. The storm cellar.   
  
Orlando rushed into his room to retrieve Sidi, before going out into the storm again. They stumbled around, slowly making their way toward to doors to the cellar. Orlando grabbed the handle and tried to pull it open, but it was locked. Orlando beat on the doors with his hands and tried shouting to his mom, but the wind stole his voice so that he couldn't even hear himself, much less hold out the hope that anyone inside had. An especially forceful gust of wind almost knocked him off his feet, and convinced him that it was time to get back in the house.  
  
***  
  
Once inside Orlando made sure to lock all the doors and windows before retreating into his room with Sidi. They crouched on the floor with their backs to his bed. Orlando couldn't help nervously glancing out the window from time to time, and watching the progression of the storm. He watched with large eyes as a funnel cloud extended from sky and touched ground. A tornado! And it seemed to be headed right for the house!  
  
Orlando buried his face in Sidi's fur as the buzzing noise of the storm increased in volume. The house seemed to be rocking with the wind and Orlando could hear the muted banging of debris being thrown against the house. Suddenly, a piece of debris flew threw the window, sending glass and wind crashing into the room. Orlando stood up intending to cover the window with something, but was knocked back by the powerful wind. He tripped and fell into the corner of his night stand.  
  
"OW! Christ!", Orlando said, bringing his hand to his injured head. Sidi came over and licked his face comfortingly. Orlando scooted back to his original position against the bed and hugged Sidi close.   
  
The house gave a sudden lurch and then everything went crazy. It felt as though the house had come up off of the foundation, and indeed Orlando saw as he looked out the window, the house seemed to be flying. He watched in horror as the house was swirled around in the wind, with trees, animals, and all manner of other rubble flying about along with it.  
  
To his shock, he saw what appeared to be Sean rowing Dave around in a little boat coast by his window. The couple saw him and waved. Orlando lifted his hand and helplessly waved back. Orlando was still paralyzed with confusion as they passed out of view. He jumped back in stupefaction when he saw a set of hands grasp onto the bottom of the window ledge. Then, Viggo's head peaked out, and he smiled at the younger man. Orlando quickly went forward with the intention of hoisting Viggo into the relative safety of the house. However, as soon as Orlando was close enough to make the attempt, Viggo let go and disappeared.   
  
Orlando held onto the ledge as he leaned out the window and peered down where Viggo must have fallen. There was nothing there. His head shot up and he started back when he heard a loud cackling noise. Orlando gawked at a black robed Kate perched on a chair. She was laughing maniacally and pointing at him and Sidi.  
  
Orlando closed his eyes, blocking out the disturbing image. Then, without warning, everything became still and calm. The whole house, now no longer suspended by the dynamic winds, abruptly started to crash toward the ground.  
  
Orlando screamed and Sidi began to bark like crazy. The fall seemed to last forever, but eventually the house hit bottom with a resounding slam.

 

 

 


	5. Munchkinland

 

When the house stopped vibrating and Orlando's heart started beating again, there was an eerie hush cast over the area. Sidi was the first to move, he got up, walked to the door, and started sniffing at the small space underneath it.   
  
Once Orlando regained his senses, he got up shakily from where he had fallen on the floor. "You okay Sidi?", he asked.  
  
Not surprisingly, Sidi didn't answer, but continued sniffing.   
  
Orlando took a few deep breaths to steady himself before cautiously heading towards the door. He raised his hand and tentatively rested it on the handle. Sidi looked up from his sniffing to nudge Orlando's leg encouragingly. Rolling his eyes, Orlando turned the knob and opened the door.  
  
***  
  
He had to squint against the brilliance revealed by the open door. When his vision cleared he was astonished to find himself looking at a world that was so much more resplendent than the one he was used to. The leaves on the trees were so intense a green, that it hardly seemed like they could be real. There were lots of plants and flowers of every color imaginable. There was also what looked like a miniature city, complete with small homes, businesses, and farms. The tiny buildings were painted a dazzling array of colors.  
  
Orlando looked down and was surprised to see that even Sidi and himself seemed to be aglow with this new wash of color. His shirt, which had been a pale pink, was now almost a blush like brightness. Sidi's fur, which had been simply dark, was now a vivid jet black.  
  
"Sidi, I've a feeling we're not in Canterbury anymore".  
  
That said, Orlando turned back to his house. It seemed to have held up pretty well against the fall. It barely even had a scratch on it. Inconceivable. Orlando shook his head. Taking a step out into this strange new world, Orlando noticed that the town appeared abandoned. There were no people to be seen.   
  
A tinkling sound, somewhat reminiscent of bells, caught his attention. Sidi began to bark, as he spotted a large bubble drifting down from the sky. Orlando followed Sidi's cue and watched entranced as the bubble slowly came to ground. It seemed to hover for a moment before popping with a snap and a cloud of glitter.   
  
Then, standing where the bubble had just been, stood a beautiful woman with golden wavy hair falling just below her chin. She was arrayed in a flowing gown of blazing yellow and held a wand with a glittering golden star at it's tip. On her head, rested a bejeweled tiara, whose color brought out her clear blue eyes.  
  
"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?", the lilting voice sounded.  
  
"Who me?", an astonished Orlando managed, "Why, I am not a witch at all! I am Orlando Bloom. From Canterbury".  
  
The woman gave him a confused look, before noticing Sidi, "Oh, I see. Then is that the witch?"  
  
"Sidi? Well, no... Sidi's my dog"  
  
"Well, I am a little muddled. The Munchkins called me because a new witch had just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And there's the house, and here you are...", she said, waking around the corner of the house and motioning for Orlando to follow, "and that's what's left of the Wicked Witch of the East".  
  
Orlando followed her gaze to an arm protruding from underneath his house. He felt his jaw drop open in horror.  
  
"And what the Munchkins want to know is, are you a good witch or a bad witch?", the woman finished with aplomb.   
  
Orlando still hadn't recovered from the thought that his house had crushed someone, so he just stood there with his mouth hanging open. After a moment, the woman rolled her eyes before reaching over and closing Orlando's mouth.  
  
"Don't do that honey, you'll catch flies. Now, how about answering the question. No need to leave everyone in suspense", she prodded gently.  
  
Orlando blinked a bit before remembering the question, "But I already told you, I'm not a witch at all-- witches are female, not to mention old and ugly", he was interrupted by a rolling, tittering sound that seemed to come from everywhere at once, "What was that?"  
  
The woman smiled, clearly amused, "The Munchkins. They're laughing because I am a witch. I am Cate, the Good Witch of the North".  
  
"Oh!", Orlando exclaimed, " I beg your pardon! I've just never heard of a beautiful witch before!"  
  
Cate smiled reassuringly and patted his shoulder, "Only bad witches are ugly. Anyway, the Munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East".  
  
Orlando frowned, "You keep saying that word... what are Munchkins?"  
  
"The little people who live in this land", Cate explained, "it's Munchkinland, and you are their national hero, my dear." She turned a bit and called out, "It's all right, you may all come out and thank him!"  
  
From all over the town small figures began to emerge. They looked just like people, only they were all less than three feet tall. Most of them had mops of curly hair on their heads, and were wearing brightly colored peasant-like clothing. They came out from everywhere, behind bushes and trees, from inside houses and barns, even down from roofs and the high branches of trees.  
  
Suddenly, and much to Orlando's surprise, Cate began to sing an explanation to them:  
  
 _~ Come out, come out, wherever you are_  
 _And meet the young man who fell from a star._  
  
 _He fell from the sky, he fell very far,_  
 _and Canterbury he says is the name of the star~_  
  
The Munchkins moved closer, and echoed back the last line.  
  
Cate continued singing:  
 _~ He brings you good news, or haven't you heard?_  
 _When he fell from his star, a miracle occurred! ~_  
  
Orlando broke in here, hoping to put an end to all the singing, "It really wasn't a miracle. What happened was just this, there was a great storm. The winds were so strong that they pulled my house right up from the ground and blew it around in a huge cyclone. Eventually, it landed here".  
  
The Munchkins looked slightly displeased at having their song interrupted, but decided to continue despite the interruption:  
  
 _~ It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch,_  
 _which was not a healthy,_  
 _situation, for the wicked witch._  
 _Who, began to twitch,_  
 _and was reduced, to just a stitch,_  
 _of what was once, The Wicked Witch! ~_  
  
When the song was finished the Munchkins all burst into applause. Orlando turned to Cate, "What's with all the singing?", he asked.  
  
"Singing?", Cate repeated slowly, "Were we singing? I hadn't noticed..." She then turned to address the Munchkins, "Let the joyous news be spread! The Wicked Old Witch at last is dead!"  
  
The doors to the largest building in the town opened and a party of three male Munchkins moved toward Orlando and Cate. At the last minute one of them broke off from the group and went to check the pulse on the arm sticking out from under the house.  
  
"Who are they?", Orlando whispered to Cate.  
  
"That's Elijah, he's the major of this land. Those two munchkins with him are Sean, his head advisor, and Billy the head medical examiner", Cate explained.  
  
When the party reached them, the shortest Munchkin stepped forward. His hair was abnormally straight and spiky, and his eyes were abnormally blue. He cleared his throat, and began to sing:  
  
 _~As mayor of the Munchkin City_  
 _In the county of the land of Oz_  
 _I welcome you most regally. ~_  
  
The taller, but pudgier blonde Munchkin standing beside the Mayor joined in the song:  
  
 _~But we've got to verify it legally._  
 _To see, if she,_  
 _Is morally, ethically, spiritually, physically,_  
 _positively, absolutely,_  
 _Undeniably and reliable dead! ~_  
  
The last Munchkin came forward now and began to sing in a smooth scottish sounding accent, his green eyes sparkling:   
  
_~As coroner, I must aver,_  
 _I've thoroughly examined her,_  
 _and she's not only merely dead,_  
 _she's really, most sincerely dead! ~_  
  
The mayor smiled and called out, "This is a day of independence, for all the Munchkins and their descendants!... This calls for a party!"  
  
The Munchkins cheered and immediately began to celebrate. The Mayor grabbed Orlando wrist and led him into the middle of the throng of Munchkins, Sidi following on the boys heels. Orlando laughed at the antics of the happy little people. The singing wasn't really that bad, a bit strange perhaps, but they were actually quite good. He could hear them still singing in the background.   
  
_~ Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _Wake up, you sleepy head!_  
 _Rub your eyes,_  
 _Get out of bed._  
 _Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _She's gone where the Goblins go_  
 _Below...below...below._  
 _Yo ho, let's open up and sing,_  
 _And ring the bells out._  
 _Ding Dong! The merry-oh!_  
 _Sing it high,_  
 _Sing it low._  
 _Let them know_  
 _The Wicked Witch is dead! ~_  
  
Out of nowhere a deafening boom sounded, followed by a puff of smoke and flame. The Munchkins all screamed and scattered-- some returning to hiding places and others huddling behind Cate.  
  
When the smoke cleared, there stood in it's place a skinny black clad figure with stringy blonde hair and sallow green skin who was holding a broomstick. Orlando immediately thought she seemed familiar, but dismissed the thought because he'd never met a real witch before.  
  
"I thought you said she was dead?", Orlando whispered to Cate.  
  
"That was her sister, Kiera the Wicked Witch of the East. This is the Wicked Witch of the West. She's worse than the other one was", Cate explained calmly.  
  
The Witch looked at house and then turned to Orlando. Sidi growled as she came closer.  
  
"Who killed my sister", she demanded, "Who killed the Wicked Witch of the East!? Was it you? Tell me!"  
  
"Leave him alone!", Cate said in a commanding voice.  
  
The Witch snarled at her, "You keep out of this! I'm here for vengeance!" She turned to Orlando, "So it was you, was it? Murderer!"  
  
"No!", Orlando pleaded, "No! It was an accident! I didn't mean to kill anybody!"  
  
"Didn't mean it, eh?", she mocked, "An accident, eh? Well, my pretty, I can cause accidents, too!", she raised her broom, "And this is how I do it!"  
  
"Aren't you forgetting the sun tattoo? ", Cate interrupted.   
  
The witch lowered her broom, "The tattoo!", she exclaimed moving to her sister's corpse. When she reached it she knelt down and turned over the wrist. Sure enough an intricate sun tattoo was inked onto the skin. Without warning the tattoo faded out of existence and the arm curled back under the house.  
  
"It's gone!", the witch hissed. Her lips pulled back in a snarl as she rounded on Cate , "The sun tattoo! What have you done with it! Give it back to me or I'll..."  
  
"It's too late", Cate said with a smug grin, using her wand to point at Orlando, "there it is, and there it'll stay!"  
  
Orlando's eyes widened as he felt a slight burning sensation on his lower stomach. He pulled up his shirt to look, and saw that the tattoo had been placed securely on his skin. The witched rushed at him, but was intercepted by a protective Sidi.  
  
"Give me back my tattoo!", she shrieked, "I'm the only one who knows how to use it. It's of no use to you! Give it back to me!"  
  
"Don't do it Orlando", Cate advised, "it's magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want it so badly!"  
  
The witch bared her teeth, "You stay out of this Cate! Or I'll fix you as well!"  
  
Cate laughed merrily, "Oh, rubbish! You've no power here! Now be gone, before somebody drops a house on you, too!"  
  
The threat surprised the Wicked Witch and she looked at the sky warily. "Very well", she said as she backed away slowly, "I'll bide my time... And as for you my fine young gentleman, it's true, I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like, but you'd better try to stay out of my way! I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!", with that last proclamation she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.  
  
***  
  
"It's alright", Cate called to the Munchkins, "You can get up-- she's gone."  
  
The Munchkins slowly revealed themselves and came over to stand around Cate.  
  
"Ick", the beautiful witch said in an annoyed voice, "Everywhere Kate goes she leaves behind the stink of sulfur... and this dress is dry clean only!"  
  
"Kate!", Orlando repeated in shock. He'd thought she looked familiar, but...  
  
"Yes", Cate said, still sounded perturbed, "Annoyingly similar to my own name isn't it? Anyway, I'm afraid you've made rather a bad enemy of the Wicked Witch of the West. The sooner you get out of Oz all together, the better we'll all sleep!"  
  
The Munchkins nodded frantically.  
  
"Oh, I'd give anything to get out of Oz altogether--- but which is the way back home? I can't go the way I came", Orlando reminded.  
  
"No", Cate agreed thoughtfully, "that's true. The only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oz himself!"  
  
"The Wizard of Oz?", Orlando questioned, "Is he good or is he wicked?"  
  
"Oh, very good", Cate assured, "but very mysterious. He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long journey from here. Did you bring your broomstick with you?"  
  
Orlando stared at her blankly for a minute, then, after deciding that protesting his status as a witch was futile, said wryly, "No, I'm afraid I didn't".  
  
Cate sighed tiredly at his forgetfulness and replied, "Well, then, you'll have to walk. The Munchkins will see you safely to the border of Munchkinland. And remember, guard yourself well, or you will be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West".  
  
"But how do I get to the Emerald City", Orlando asked.  
  
"It's always best to start at the beginning", Cate suggested, "and then all you have to do is follow the yellow brick road".  
  
"But what if I...", Orlando began.  
  
"Just follow the yellow brick road", Cate repeated simply. She then smiled, pulled a curtsy, and turned into a sparkly bubble and began to float away.  
  
"My, people come and go so quickly here!", he said exasperatedly to Sidi as he looked at the yellow pathway beneath their feet.  
  
"Follow the yellow brick road?", he repeated to himself.  
  
Several Munchkins surrounded him and started to sing, skipping along the road:  
  
 _~ Follow the Yellow Brick Road._  
 _Follow the Yellow Brick Road._  
 _Follow, follow, follow, follow,_  
 _Follow the Yellow Brick Road._  
 _Follow the Yellow Brick_  
 _Follow the... ~_  
  
Orlando took off at a jog and turned around to wave without stopping. He didn't slow until he could no longer see or hear the Munchkins. Sidi followed behind him, happy at the chance to run in the sunshine.  
  
"They were very nice", Orlando confessed to Sidi, " but all that singing was getting kind of freaky. I just don't understand it".  
  
Sidi woofed in agreement, and together they began their journey.

 

 

 


	6. The Scarecrow

Orlando and Sidi had been walking for about a half a hour when they came to a crossroads. The yellow brick road forked off in two opposite directions around a cornfield.   
  
Orlando scratched his head, "Follow the yellow brick road", he repeated for about the tenth time, "but which part of it."  
  
Sidi sat down at Orlando's feet as the boy stilled to think.   
  
"I knew those directions were crap", Orlando said decisively, "Now I don't know which way to go".  
  
"That way is a very nice way", said a voice.  
  
Orlando looked around, but all he could see was the cornfield and it's scarecrow- which was pointing to the right.  
  
"Who said that?", Orlando called out.  
  
Sidi tried to lead Orlando to the scarecrow.  
  
"Don't be silly Sidi. Scarecrows can't talk", Orlando said, looking at his pet suspiciously.  
  
"It's pleasant that way too", said the same voice from before.   
  
Orlando looked around, but all he could see was the cornfield and it's scarecrow- which was pointing to the left. Wait a second, Orlando thought, the left?  
  
"That's funny", he said, "Wasn't it pointing the other way?"  
  
"Of course, people do go both ways", the voice said.   
  
As Orlando looked up he saw the scarecrow cross his arms and point both ways.  
  
"Why", Orlando said stepping closer, "you did say something, didn't you?"  
  
The scarecrow nodded, then shook his head.  
  
"Are you doing that on purpose", Orlando asked, "Or can't you make up your mind?"  
  
"That's the trouble", the scarecrow answered sadly, lifting his cowboy hat to show his straw head, "I haven't got a mind to make up-- only straw!"  
  
Orlando's brow furrowed, "But how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?"  
  
"I don't know", the scarecrow said, shrugging as best he could, "But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?"  
  
Orlando nodded, "Yes, I suppose you're right". He took this opportunity to study the scarecrow. He couldn't shake the feeling that even this strange creature was somehow familiar. He took in the scarecrow's straw colored hair, deep blue eyes, and handsome dimpled chin. He really was a very realistic looking scarecrow. Not even Viggo could have created such a ...  
  
That's when it hit him like blow to the gut. Viggo! The scarecrow looked almost exactly like Viggo! If Orlando hadn't seen for himself that there was only straw beneath that hat, he wouldn't believe that it wasn't Viggo himself before him.  
  
He stepped forward and held out his hand, "Well, we haven't really met properly, have we?"  
  
"Why no", the Viggo look-alike said  
  
"I am Orlando"  
  
"I am...well, I don't really have a name."  
  
"Don't have a name?", Orlando asked, "Well, what do people call you?"  
  
"Mostly they just call me the scarecrow"  
  
"That will have to do then. It's nice to meet you Mr. Scarecrow", Orlando said, finally shaking the Scarecrows hand.  
  
The Scarecrow smiled, "Nice to meet you too Orlando. How do you do?"  
  
"Very well", Orlando smiled back, "and yourself?"  
  
"Oh, I'm not feeling at all well", the Scarecrow complained, "You see, it's very tedious being stuck up here all day long with a pole up your back".  
  
Orlando bit his lip, "That must be terribly uncomfortable, can't you get down?"  
  
"Down? No, you see there's a... I can't quite reach...", the Scarecrow trailed off.  
  
"Well can I help?", Orlando offered, "What should I do?"  
  
"Of course, now, I am not bright about doing things, but if you'll just bend that nail down in the back, maybe I'll slip off.", Viggo suggested.  
  
Orlando told Sidi to stay and climbed over the fence into the cornfield. He walked over behind the Scarecrow and did as he was told. The Scarecrow almost immediately fell to the ground.  
  
"Oh!", Orlando exclaimed with concern, dropping to his knees beside the fallen man "Are you alright?"  
  
The Scarecrow nodded, and slowly stood up with Orlando's help. Orlando stepped back, but then rushed forward again when the Scarecrow stumbled. He stopped however, at the Scarecrow's raised hand. They slowly made their way over the fence and back into the road.  
  
Orlando watched as the Scarecrow stretched and moved his limbs as though trying to get back his circulation. He noticed some other differences that proved that the man wasn't human. His jeans were fitted at his waist and his ankles with knots of rope and on his feet he wore only socks. His long sleeved red plaid shirt was also tied off with rope at it's collar and at the point where the cuffs met his work gloves.   
  
"It's good to be free!", the Scarecrow shouted. He tried to jump as well, but ended up falling and loosing some of his stuffing, "Whoops! There goes some of me again!"  
  
"Doesn't that hurt", Orlando asked with a wince.  
  
"Not really, I just keep picking it up and putting it back in again", he said, while doing just that, "I didn't scare you, did I?"  
  
"No, no, I just thought you'd hurt yourself", Orlando answered.  
  
"But I didn't scare you?", the Scarecrow asked with a frown.  
  
Orlando smiled warmly, "No, of course not".  
  
The Scarecrow hung his head, "I didn't think so".   
  
A crow swooped down and landed on his shoulder, "Boo! Scat!", he cried, but the crow only picked up some of his straw and flew away with it. "You see! I can't even scare a crow! They come from miles around just to eat in my fields and laugh in my face. I am a failure because I haven't got any brains!"  
  
Tilting his head to the side in an unconscious imitation of Sidi, Orlando asked, "Well, what would you do with a brain if you had one?"  
  
"Do?", the Scarecrow repeated, "Why if I had a brain, I could..."  
  
Please don't burst into song, Orlando thought. Unfortunately his wish wasn't granted.  
  
 _~ I could wile away the hours,_  
 _Conferrin' with the flowers,_  
 _Consultin' with the rain._  
 _And my head I'd be scratchin'_  
 _While my thoughts were busy hatchin'_  
 _If I only had a brain._  
 _I'd unravel every riddle... ~_  
  
"Wait!", Orlando interrupted, his hands held up placatingly, "Is there any particular reason why you need to sing this, instead of just telling me?"  
  
The Scarecrow paused, "Well, no... I guess not. It's just well, I'm supposed to sing it aren't I?"  
  
"No offense Scarecrow", Orlando said, "but I'd really prefer it if you didn't".   
  
"Oh, okay then", the Scarecrow said awkwardly, "... but can I at least do the dance."  
  
Orlando thought about it, and figured it was the least he could do after forbidding the song itself, "Alright then".  
  
The Scarecrow gave him a huge grin before breaking into an intense bout of choreography. The dance even contained some flips and rolls. When it was finished Orlando clapped violently and Sidi barked his approval. The Scarecrow beamed at them, before adding that it "really was more impressive with the song".  
  
"I'm sure it is", Orlando said comfortingly, "but it was wonderful anyway. And the crows back in Canterbury would be scared out of their wits if our scarecrows could dance!"  
  
"They would?", the Scarecrow asked hopefully.  
  
Orlando just nodded.  
  
"Where's Canterbury?"  
  
"That's where I live", Orlando explained, " and I want to go back there so badly, that I am walking all the way to the Emerald City to get the Wizard of Oz to help me".  
  
"You're going to see a wizard?", the scarecrow asked in shock.  
  
"Um-hmm"  
  
"Hey! Do you think that if I went with you this wizard would give me some brains?", the Scarecrow asked excitedly.  
  
"I couldn't say", Orlando said prudently, "But even if he didn't, you wouldn't be any worse of than you are now".  
  
The Scarecrow nodded, "That's true".  
  
"But you'd better not", Orlando continued, "I've got a witch after me, and you might get into trouble".  
  
"Witch huh? I'm not afraid of a witch! I'm not afraid of anything-- except a lighted match", the Scarecrow confided.  
  
Orlando raised an eyebrow, "Well, I can't blame you for that".  
  
"But I'd face a whole box full of them for the chance of getting some brains. Look --  
I won't be any trouble, because I don't eat a thing -- and I won't try to manage things, because I can't think. Won't you take me with you?", he pleaded.  
  
"Of course I will", Orlando said, "If you're sure you want to come".  
  
"Hooray!", the Scarecrow shouted, linking his arm with Orlando's.   
  
As they walked off together, Sidi following behind them, they were both thinking the same thing: That this could be the start of something wonderful.

 


	7. The Tin Yorkshireman

Orlando and the Scarecrow walked down the yellow brick road talking and laughing. Sidi alternated between wandering ahead of the pair and trailing behind them, sniffing at random foliage.   
  
They walked past a copse of tree's, but didn't notice the Wicked Witch hiding behind them. She smiled evilly before flicking her broom to cast a spell. She then quickly and quietly disappeared.  
  
That's when Orlando noticed the apple orchard. His stomach rumbled in rebellion at having been denied food for so long. "Mmmmm... Apples", he said, his voice full of longing.  
  
The Scarecrow smiled, "Hungry?"  
  
Orlando laughed before walking over to a tree and picking an apple. To his utter stupefaction the tree then proceeded to slap his hand and take the apple back.  
  
"Ow!", he protested.  
  
The tree blinked open large eyes, before opening his mouth to speak in a rough voice, "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
Blinking back his surprise Orlando tried to explain, "We've been walking a long ways, and I was hungry, I just..."  
  
"He was hungry!", the tree called out to the others, "Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?"  
  
"I'm sorry", Orlando mumbled, "I keep forgetting I'm not in Canterbury".  
  
The Scarecrow walked up behind Orlando and took hold of his arm, "Come along Orlando, you don't want any of those apples anyway".  
  
The trees eyes narrowed, "What do you mean he doesn't 'want any of those apples'? Are you hinting that my apples aren't what they aught to be?"  
  
"Oh, no!", the Scarecrow said ingratiatingly, "It's just that he doesn't like little green worms!"  
  
With that the Scarecrow tugged Orlando back a few feet, "I'll show you how to get apples", he whispered into Orlando's ear.  
  
He burst forward a bit and started taunting the tree. Making faces and noises and generally making a nuisance of himself. The trees reacted almost immediately. They started pelting him with apples and shouting back at him. The Scarecrow caught one, and then sauntered back to Orlando's side.  
  
"I guess that did it!", he said handing the apple to Orlando, his hand lingering over the boys before pulling sharply away. "Help yourself", he told Sidi and gestured at the ground, which was strewn with apples. Sidi picked one up and followed the pair as they continued on their way.  
  
A short while after Orlando had finished his apple, they stopped so that Sidi would have time to eat his. The men sat on a log a little ways into the forrest and Sidi lay at their feet gratefully munching on his apple. They both kept stealing glances at one another as they sat, smiley slightly.  
  
Soon the Scarecrow, anxious from the tension in the air, got up and started picking up small stones and tossing them into the forrest. After one throw he heard a metallic 'clang'.  
  
Orlando looked over at him, "What was that?"  
  
The Scarecrow shrugged and both men got up and went in search of the source of the noise, a curious dog taking the lead. Sidi was the first to spot it.  
  
"Why, it's a man! A man made out of tin!", Orlando exclaimed.  
  
It was true, right in front of them stood a man made entirely out of what appeared to be tin. All of his features were so intricately crafted that they looked almost completely real. It was only the silvery 'skin tone' that gave him away. He was classically handsome and had emeralds for eyes. He didn't have actual hair, but the metal on top of his head was fashioned to look as though he did and it was merely slicked back. Atop that there was a hat that looked like a funnel. His chest was bare except for a gray duster and he wore black leather pants and boots.   
  
The tin man was standing in what looked like a very uncomfortable position. His arms were raised high above his head, seemingly ready to bring down a heavy axe in order to chop the block of wood sitting on the tree trunk directly in front of him. Upon closer inspection Orlando noticed that both the axe and the man were a bit rusty. 'How long has he been here?', he thought. That thought was directly followed by a nagging feeling that he recognized the tin man. Orlando's brow furrowed in thought.  
  
"Oyal ca", someone rumbled.  
  
"Did you say something?", Orlando asked the Scarecrow.  
  
"Nope", Viggo answered easily, pointing to the tin man, "I think it was him".  
  
"Oh...", Orlando said, "What did he say?"  
  
"Ol kin", the rumble came again.  
  
"I think he said 'oil can'", the Scarecrow offered to Orlando before turning back to the tin man, "Oil can what?"  
  
"Oil can?", Orlando repeated searching the area, "Oh! Here it is!"  
  
"Mmpsd", said the tin man.  
  
Orlando and the Scarecrow looked at each other and then oiled the tin mans mouth.  
  
"Bloody Hell!", exclaimed the deep voice, "I can talk again! Please, oil my elbows!"  
  
Orlando took the oil can and oiled the elbow and shoulder joints of the arms that were still holding up the axe. After removing the tool, he stepped closer and leaned against the tin man in order to pull his arms down.  
  
"Oh!", the tin man groaned.  
  
"I didn't hurt you did I?", Orlando asked worriedly.  
  
"No", the tin man said, using his jaws new freedom to smirk suggestively, " it feels wonderful".  
  
The Scarecrow scowled and stepped forward to pull Orlando a few paces back from the tin man, "Who are you anyway?", he asked gruffly.  
  
The tin man smiled proudly, "I am the Tin Yorkshireman".  
  
"Nice to meet you", said Orlando while continuing, with the Scarecrows help, to oil their rusty new friend, "but how did you ever get stuck like this?"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman sighed, "Well, about a year ago I was chopping up some wood, minding my own business, when suddenly it started to rain. Then, right in the middle of a chop, I- I rusted solid. And I've been that way ever since".  
  
As the Tin Yorkshireman told his story, something occurred to Orlando: wasn't Sean from Sheffield, South Yorkshire.  
  
Sean! Orlando had somehow managed to find another piece of home in this strange place. What were the odds of two people looking as alike as Viggo and the Scarecrow? Or Sean and the Tin Yorkshireman? Orlando's hands continued their work methodically until he realized that they were done.  
  
"Well, you're perfect now", Orlando assured.  
  
The Scarecrow scoffed.  
  
"Perfect?", the Tin Yorkshireman said, "Well, physically maybe, but bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect. Go ahead, bang on it!"  
  
Orlando did as he was told, and they were treated to a dull thunking sound.  
  
"Beautiful", Viggo said flatly, "What an echo!"  
  
"It's empty.", the Tin Yorkshireman explained, "The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart".  
  
"No heart?", the Scarecrow said, interested again.  
  
"No heart", the Tin Yorkshireman agreed, "All hollow..."  
  
'He can't be about to do what I think he's about to do', Orlando thought to himself, 'not Sean!'.  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman sighed then began to sing:  
 _~ When a man's an empty kettle,_  
 _He should be on his mettle._  
 _And yet I'm torn apart._  
 _Just because I'm presumin'_  
 _That I could be kind-a human,_  
 _If I only had a heart. ~_  
  
Orlando had never been so shocked in all his life. Behind him Sidi tilted his head to the side in confusion.   
  
_~ I'd be tender -- I'd be gentle_  
 _And awful sentimental_  
 _Regarding Love and Art_  
 _I'd be friends with sparrows_  
 _And the boy who shoots the arrows_  
 _If I only had a heart._  
 _Picture me....a balcony...._  
 _Above a voice sings low:_  
 _Wherefore art thou, Romeo? ~_  
  
"Aren't you going to stop him?", the Scarecrow asked defensively.  
  
Orlando just kept staring.  
  
"I don't see why he gets to sing", the Scarecrow said jealously.  
  
"Don't feel bad", Orlando finally managed, "I'm just too flabbergasted to actually stop him". The young man could honestly say that this was the strangest thing he'd seen yet. Tough, northern bastard Sean, singing. About love.  
  
 _~ I hear a beat....how sweet!_  
 _Just to register emotion_  
 _Jealousy -- Devotion --_  
 _And really feel the part,_  
 _I could stay young and chipper,_  
 _And I'd lock it with a zipper,_  
 _If I only had a heart! ~_  
  
When the Tin Yorkshireman finished his song, he started to stumble around a bit, doing something of a jig. Little did he know that he now had an audience of three instead of two. The witch was standing on the roof of the nearby cottage, which happened to belong to the Tin Yorkshireman. She cast a spell and the metal dancer tripped over a root.  
  
"Oh", Orlando cried, "Are you okay?"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman looked embarrassed, "I am afraid I'm a little rusty yet".  
  
"No", Orlando said, still amazed that he had seen what looked like Sean singing and dancing about love in a forrest, "It was wonderful".  
  
"I thought the choreography was amateurish", grumbled the Scarecrow.  
  
Orlando rolled his eyes and continued, "We were just wondering if you couldn't come to the Emerald City with us and ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart!"  
  
The Scarecrow looked up, "We were?"  
  
"The Emerald City?", said the Tin Yorkshireman warily, "Thats a long and dangerous journey... and it might rain along the way".  
  
"But you've just said how much you want a heart", Orlando reminded, "and I'll keep the oil can handy".  
  
"Well", said the Tin Yorkshireman, still unenthusiastically , "suppose the Wizard wouldn't give me one once we got there?"  
  
"Oh but he will!", Orlando exclaimed, "He must! We've come such a long way already!"  
  
The Wicked Witch of the West who had been watching them, suddenly burst into a fit of demented giggles.   
  
"What the hell is that?", asked the Tin Yorkshireman amid Sidi's barks or warning.  
  
"You call that long!", the Witch screeched, giving away her position on the roof, "Why you've only just begun! Forgotten about me have you? Well, I haven't forgotten about you!"  
  
She broke into another fit of evil laughter, before turning to Orlando's new friends, "Helping the little gentleman along, are you my fine Sirs?....Well stay away from him!"  
  
Kate pointed dramatically at the Scarecrow, "Or I'll stuff a mattress with you!", and then pointed at the tin man, "And you! I'll use you for a bee-hive!"  
  
The Scarecrow stepped in front of Orlando and the Witch noticed the movement. "Hey Scarecrow!", she called as a fireball shot off of the end of her broom, "Want to play ball?"  
  
As soon as the fireball touched his straw the Scarecrow caught ablaze. "Ahhh!", he cried, "what do I do???"  
  
"Stop drop and roll!", Orlando called back.  
  
Orlando and the Tin Yorkshireman rushed to help put out the Scarecrow, who was rolling around on the ground frantically.  
  
The Witch laughed gleefully as she climbed on her broom and began to fly away, "As for you my little Orlando, I wish you luck with the Wizard of Oz. And a happy journey back to Canterbury!"  
  
The tree companions watched as the Witch disappeared into the clouds. The Scarecrow still smoking slightly, "I'm not afraid of her. I'll see you get safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a brain or not! Stuff a mattress with me? HA!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman nodded his agreement, "And I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Bee-hive--Let her try to make a bloody bee-hive out of me!"  
  
Suddenly a buzzing noise was heard. Before they had time to react the Tin Yorkshireman was surrounded in a fog of bees. He swung his arms around wildly and shouted until they dispersed.   
  
"They're gone now", the Tin Yorkshireman said needlessly. Collapsing to the ground with a tree at his back.  
  
"Oh, goodness!", Orlando said, "Did any of them sting you?  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman laughed, "I bet the nasty buggers tried it, probably bent their stingers!"  
  
Orlando closed his eyes, "I think it's best if I leave you two here and go the rest of the way alone, just Sidi and I".  
  
"But why?", asked the Scarecrow forlornly.   
  
Orlando smiled sympathetically, "It's just that the Witch is so wicked. I don't  
think you two ought to come with me because you'll get into trouble"  
  
"Oh, you don't think we're going to stand by and let her get away with fireballs and bees, do you?", the Tin Yorkshireman said bravely.  
  
"No way!", the Scarecrow agreed.  
  
"Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had! And it's funny, but I feel as if I've known you all the time. But I couldn't have, could I?", Orlando said, thinking about how closely they resembled his other friends.  
  
"I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sewn together, were you?" , The Scarecrow said logically.  
  
"And I was standing over there rusting for the longest time", added the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Still", Orlando sighed, "I wish I could figure it out! But I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We're friends now, aren't we?"  
  
The Scarecrow smiled and put an arm around Orlando's shoulder, "We sure are!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshire man hefted his axe over his shoulder and headed towards the yellow brick road, "To Oz then?"  
  
"To Oz!", Orlando agreed.

 


	8. The Cowardly Lion

The guys had been walking for awhile when a spooky forrest engulfed the yellow brick road. The birds ceased to sing and an eerie quiet descended on the whole area.  
  
"I don't think I like the look of this forest.", Orlando said in a hushed tone, "It's dark and creepy, even now when the sun's out".  
  
The Scarecrow moved closer to Orlando in a protective gesture, smiling when Orlando leaned into him. "Of course I don't know", he said slowly pulling the boy closer with a twitch of his lips, "but I think it will get darker before it gets lighter".  
  
Orlando's eyes widened, "Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?", he asked, his voice tinged with fear.   
  
"We might", the Tin Yorkshireman piped up cheerily.  
  
The Scarecrow's eyes widened to match Orlando's, "Animals that eat straw?"  
  
"Some", the Tin Yorkshireman promised evilly, "But mostly lions, tigers, and bears".  
  
"Lions and tigers and bears?", Orlando repeated, "Oh my!"  
  
As they walked further into the forrest they began to hear a rustling among the brush. Sidi growled out a warning to whatever was following them. More rustling was heard, this time from closer.  
  
"What sort of animal was that?", Orlando inquired.  
  
"I'm not sure", the Tin Yorkshireman responded, "but it sounded like a large one".  
  
The Scarecrow put on a brave face and pulled Orlando even closer, "Don't- don't be frightened Orlando, I'll protect you".  
  
This gutsy image was ruined when the Tin Yorkshireman purposely cracked a twig with this foot. The Scarecrow jumped a few inches in the air and crashed into Orlando, nearly bringing them both to the ground. The Tin Yorkshireman laughed uproariously at the Scarecrows reaction.  
  
"And I suppose you're not frightened of being eaten?", the Scarecrow asked defensively.  
  
"Not especially", the Tin Yorkshireman said easily, "I've yet to meet an animal that eats metal".  
  
"How wonderful for you!", The Scarecrow said sarcastically.   
  
As the men were distracted by their bickering Sidi noticed movement from behind the trees. It seemed as though whatever it was, was still making it's way closer. Sidi decided that the best way to protect his human was to circle around back and get the element of surprise. Very soon the men's battle of wits was interrupted by the growling and yelping.  
  
They all watched with large eyes as Sidi pulled something out of the trees by it's cinnamon colored tail. Once the figure was clear of the thicket, they could see that it was a man... or was it? He was sitting on his bottom as Sidi dragged him free of the forrest, a disgruntled look on his attractive face. "This is just humiliating", he lamented in a lightly accented voice.  
  
"Sidi! Let him go!", Orlando ordered.  
  
At the sound of his voice, Sidi looked up and then immediately padded over to Orlando. Sidi snuggled against his masters leg contritely. Orlando, his worry for the stranger gone, scratched Sidi behind his ear in forgiveness.  
  
The fawn colored figure was still sitting on the ground morosely. The Scarecrow took pity on him, stepping over and offering him a hand up. When the lean figure was upright, it became obvious that he was a man dressed like a lion. The man was wearing a tawny body suit with a stitched on khaki underbelly. His long tail was sewn low on his back. His face and form however, were distinctly... human, something that the Tin Yorkshireman couldn't help but notice. The strange mans face was pale and framed by his ginger colored hair which stuck up wildly in all directions. His eyes were a shocking blue, as he looked at them shyly.  
  
"Hello", the lion said rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.  
  
"Hello yourself", the Tin Yorkshireman said slyly, "And who might you be?"  
  
The lion blushed, some of the red from his suit and hair leaping into his cheeks, "Most people call me Daisy"  
  
"Daisy!", the Tin Yorkshireman couldn't help but laugh.  
  
Orlando shushed him and asked the lion, "What are you doing in the middle of the forrest?"  
  
The lion looked confused, "I live here", he said slowly, as though he were stating something extremely obvious.   
  
"I thought lions lived in the jungle?", the Scarecrow said.  
  
"No", Orlando added helpfully, "I think they live in savannas".  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman looked at them incredulously, "He isn't a bloody lion!", he exclaimed.  
  
Daisy's spine straightened, " I am so!"  
  
"You are bloody well not!", the Tin Yorkshire man, "Who ever heard of naming a lion Daisy!"  
  
A sad look covered the lion's face, "Daisy's not my real name, but all the animals in the forrest call me that, because I am a coward".  
  
"See", the Tin Yorkshireman said triumphantly, "Who ever heard of a cowardly lion!"  
  
The Scarecrow punched his metal friend on the arm and ignored the clang that sounded before turning to Daisy, "I am sure you're not a coward".  
  
"Oh but I am!", the lion said miserably, "I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself! Look at the circles under my eyes".  
  
The tree travelers leaned in to look, some closer than others, but none of them saw the supposed circles.  
  
"I haven't slept in weeks!", continued the lion.  
  
"Why don't you try counting sheep?", interrupted the Scarecrow.  
  
"I can't", the lion explained, "I am afraid of them."  
  
"This is ridiculous", the Tin Yorkshireman said to nobody in particular.  
  
"Hey", the Scarecrow said excitedly, " Don't you think the wizard could help him, too?"  
  
Orlando smiled, "I don't see why not! Why don't you come with us? We're on our way to see the wizard now. To get the Scarecrow a brain..."  
  
"I don't see how any of this proves he's a lion", the Tin Yorkshireman muttered  
  
"And the Tin Yorkshireman a heart", the Scarecrow added scathingly.  
  
"I am sure he could give you some courage", Orlando assured.  
  
"You are?", Daisy said, his voice full of hope, "And you wouldn't be... well, wouldn't you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion? I would".  
  
"Of course not!", Orlando postulated.   
  
"Gee that's awfully kind of you", said the grateful lion. He took a deep breath.  
  
"Daisy?", Orlando said in a strained voice, "You're not going to sing are you?"  
  
The lion blinked at him, "Why-- is that a problem?"  
  
"A little bit yeah", Orlando answered carefully, "It's nothing against you, it's just that all the singing that goes on here, it kind of creeps me out".  
  
Daisy looked abashed, "But I have a whole song prepared... and... I guess I don't have to sing it. It probably isn't very good anyway".  
  
Orlando felt bad about hurting the lions feelings, and made up his mind to be extra nice to him for the rest of the trip to make up for it. He just couldn't allow the singing though, he just couldn't. The whole incident with Sean/the Tin Yorkshireman had permanently scarred him.   
  
"It's decided then!", said the Scarecrow, "we'd better get on our way!"  
  
As the group, now increased by one, stepped back on the yellow brick road, Orlando fell into step beside the lion. He tried to make conversation with Daisy, "What is your real name?"  
  
The lion smiled bashfully, "It's David".  
  
Orlando's steps faltered in surprise. Dave! He looked at 'Daisy' out of the corner of his eyes. Yes, he could see it now, it really was rather obvious, especially considering his other companions. It was just that he'd never seen Dave with messy hair... or wearing anything nearly that tight...  
  
The Scarecrow sped up till he was walking on the other side of Orlando, "You okay Orlando? You look a bit flushed?"  
  
"I'm fine", the younger man answered quickly. Then in an attempt to change the subject he glanced back at the Tin Yorkshireman, "Why are you walking back there? Come walk with us!"  
  
"That's okay lad", the Tin Yorkshireman leered, "the view back here's just fine!"  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile at the witches lair, Kate was observing their progress through her crystal ball. "So you wont take a warning, eh? All the worse for you! I'll take care of you now instead of later! Hah! When I get back the sun tattoo, my power will be the greatest in all of Oz! And now, something with poison in it, I think. But attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell... Poppies! Yes, Poppies!".  
  
She waved her broom over the crystal murmuring under her breath.  
  
***  
  
After they had been walking for awhile, the Emerald City came into view. At some point during the walk the group had split into pairs, leaving- respectively- Orlando and the Scarecrow, and David and the Tin Yorkshireman side by side.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it? Just like I knew it would be. He must be a wonderful wizard to live in a city like that!", Orlando exclaimed.  
  
"Well come on, then. What are we waiting for?", the Scarecrow said with a smile, before taking off at a run. He ran off of the road and into the flower filled grass surrounding it. The three remaining men, looked at each other for a moment before running after the Scarecrow. The race was on.   
  
They laughed and ran. Shouting challenges at each other and basically having a wonderful time. Sidi scurried around their legs, barking and jumping. When they made it about halfway across the distance Orlando began to lag behind. Eventually he came to a complete stop.  
  
"Oh... Oh... What's happening?", he asked tiredly, putting a hand to his head, "I can't run anymore. I am so sleepy".  
  
The Scarecrow looked at him anxiously, "Here, give me your hand, I'll pull you along".  
  
"No please", Orlando said through a yawn, "I have to rest for just a minute".  
  
"You can't rest now", the Tin Yorkshireman urged, "We're nearly there!"  
  
"Sidi.", Orlando called as he lay down among the flowers, "Where's Sidi?" In response to his master's voice Sidi lethargically made his way over and curled up next to him.  
  
"What's he doing that for?", David the lion asked with drooping eyes.   
  
"Orlando!", the Scarecrow compelled desperately.  
  
"You can't sleep here!", said the Tin Yorkshireman irately, "You can't sleep in the middle of a field!"  
  
The two older men heard a thump behind them. When they turned they saw that David had fallen into a deep sleep just like Orlando.   
  
***  
  
The Wicked Witch of the West cackled as she watched the scene play out in her crystal ball. "Call away! Call away! He wont hear any of you again! And there's nothing you can do about it, either. This worked out very smoothly. Now I'll send my Winged Monkeys to fetch the boy!"  
  
***  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman kneeled down next to the lion. "Wake up Daisy!", he said frantically, grabbing the younger man's shoulders and shaking him,"Wake up!"  
  
"Don't cry!", the Scarecrow said shortly, "You'll rust yourself again! We've got to do something!"  
  
"I am NOT crying!", the Tin Yorkshireman said bearishly, "Maybe we should try to carry them?"  
  
The Scarecrow nodded. Both men attempted to lift their two slighter companions, but it was to no avail. "This is terrible", the Scarecrow repined, "I can't budge him an inch! This is a spell, this is!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman's eyes took on a hard gleam, "It's the Wicked Witch! What'll we do? Bloody hell! If I ever see her again I'll chop her to bits with my axe!"  
  
"Help!", the Scarecrow shouted, in the vain hope that someone would hear him.  
  
"It's no use screaming at a time like this! Nobody will hear you!", snapped the Tin Yorkshireman, before looking down at Daisy and then searching the horizon helplessly, "Help!", he called desperately.   
  
***  
  
Cate was taking her afternoon nap, when she was rudely awakened by calls for help. She pulled her white satin eye shield over her head and stretched elegantly before dropping her arms to her sides like dead weights.  
  
She looked over to her desk where her crystal ball was situated. Cate raised herself out of bed and walked across the room, the hem of her white, off the shoulder nightgown dragging behind her. The vision in the ball was of Orlando sleeping in a field of poppies, and people she assumed to be his friends calling for help. She rolled her eyes while rummaging through a drawer for her wand. When she found it, she straightened, "That girl hasn't an original thought in her head. Poppies!", she snorted, waving her wand around, "well, that'll take care of that".  
  
***  
  
Just when the Scarecrow and the Tin Yorkshireman were about to loose hope, a miracle happened. It suddenly began to snow. Fat white snow flakes streamed down from the sky, coating everything in sight.   
  
"Look- it's snowing! How is it snowing? Do you think it will help?", the Scarecrow said without breathing, "Oh, but it couldn't help".   
  
Orlando began to stir and David groaned and rolled over. "It does help!", the Tin Yorkshireman said joyously, "Daisy! Orlando! You're waking up!"  
  
"Huh?", Orlando murmured sleepily.  
  
"Mmm.. unusual weather we're having, isn't it?", said the lion softly.  
  
Both newly awakening young men were greeted by ecstatic hugs.  
  
"You've been crying!", David said in worried surprise, "Why have you been..."   
  
The Tin Yorkshireman backed away abruptly, "I have not!"  
  
***  
  
The witch glared at her crystal ball, "Curse it! Curse it! Somebody always helps that boy! But tattoo or no tattoo, I'm still great enough to conquer him. And woe to those who try to stop me!"  
  
She ran to the windowsill and threw her broom out. It hovered near the window and she hopped on it. "To the Emerald City", she cried, "fast as lightning!"


	9. The Emerald City

  
As the four companions and their mascot Sidi neared the city they were awestruck by it's appearance. It was a large city, with tall glimmering green towers reaching high into the sky. It seemed to shimmer magically as though it were actually made out of it's namesake.   
  
As they stepped up to the gate a chorus of voices rang out:  
 _~ You're out of the woods_  
 _You're out of the dark_  
 _You're out of the night_  
 _Step into the sun_  
 _Step into the light_  
 _Keep straight ahead for_  
 _The most glorious place_  
 _Of the earth or the sky_  
 _Hold onto your breath_  
 _Hold onto your heart_  
 _Hold onto your hope --_  
 _March up to the gate_  
 _And bid it open --- open --- open! ~_  
  
The three older men turned to look at Orlando. The young man had a chagrined look on his face. "Can any of you explain to me why everyone here feels the need to constantly burst into song?", he asked.  
  
His friends shrugged.  
  
"Why does it bother you so much?", the Scarecrow inquired.  
  
Orlando sighed, "I don't know. It's all so strange. I guess it just reminds me of how far I am from home".  
  
David reached over and patted Orlando on the shoulder comfortingly, "Well, we're here now aren't we? You're halfway there, the wizard will help you get home".  
  
They looked around a bit before spotting what looked like a doorbell. Orlando pressed the button and waited. After a few minutes a little window in the door swung open and an elderly gentleman popped his head out. "Who rang that bell?", asked the cultured voice.  
  
"We did", responded Orlando.  
  
"Can't you read?", the man continued primly.   
  
"Read what?", asked a puzzled lion.  
  
"The notice", came the stern reply.  
  
"What notice?", asked the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"It's on the door", the voice scolded pointing down at the door, "as plain as the nose on my face!... It... Oh! Blast it all! Craig!", he shouted as he ducked back in the window. The friends heard scuffling behind the door, as well as the sound of someone receiving a severe dressing-down. Then a blonde young man peeked out of the window and flashed them a smile, before reaching down, hanging a sign on the door and disappearing again.   
  
The four travelers leaned in to read it, "Bell out of order. Please knock."  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman snorted and knocked loudly on the door. Instantly, the same gentleman from before bent out the window, "That's more like it! I am Ian, and I am the doorman here. Now state your business!"  
  
"We want to see the Wizard", the friends said together.  
  
"The Wizard?", the older man said in disbelief, "But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I haven't seen him!"  
  
"Well, then how do you know there is one?", asked the Scarecrow.  
  
The doorman frowned, "Because he-- I-- Oh, you're wasting my time!", he finished preparing to go back in.  
  
"But sir!", Orlando called, "I've got to see the wizard! The Good Witch of the North sent me!  
  
The doorman leaned further out the window to examine Orlando, "Prove it".  
  
"He's got the tattoo that she gave him!", interjected the Scarecrow.  
  
Orlando lifted his shirt to reveal the sun tattoo.  
  
"So he does!", Ian said his pale eyes twinkling, "Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!"   
  
The door swung open revealing a beautiful and bustling city. The friends were left to their own devices and wandered a bit through the crowd. Everyone in the city was wearing some shade of green. The buildings and homes were all faced in green and the streets were paved in green brick. Orlando had to grab Sidi's collar to keep him from running off and trying to investigate their new surroundings.  
  
As they stood on a corner a lime green open-top carriage drawn by a horse speckled in all the colors of the rainbow, approached slowly. A small man with messy blonde hair and a days worth of stubble called out jauntily, "A cabby is just what you folks are looking for! I can tell by your faces! Take you anyplace in the city, we will! I'm Dom, and this here is Merry"  
  
The men climbed into the carriage, but it was a tight fit. Only three of them fit in the back, and they were sitting pressed thigh to thigh with Sidi laying across their laps. The Tin Yorkshireman volunteered to sit up front with the driver.   
  
"Can you take us to see the wizard?", Orlando asked.  
  
"The Wizard?", Dom said uncertainly, "The Wizard? I-- cant-- Well-- Yes! Of course! But first I'll take you someplace where you can tidy up a bit", he added delicately.   
  
The travelers looked down at themselves. The Scarecrow was covered in dirt and scorch marks from the Witches attack. The Tin Yorkshireman was still a bit rusty and dull from having been outside so long. Orlando was disheveled from having been tossed around in a tornado and then wandering around in the woods. His clothes also smelled lightly of sulfur from so many encounters with the witch. And David, well he'd spent a lot of time crawling around the forrest.   
  
"Thanks", Orlando smiled scrunching his nose, "We are a bit of a mess aren't we? By the way, what kind of horse is Merry? I've never seen a horse like him before!"  
  
"No", Dom agreed, " and you never will again, I fancy. There's only one of him, and he's it. He's the Horse of a Different Color you've heard tell about!"  
  
The carriage brought them through the city, dropping each of them off at a little place specifically designed to fix them up. Orlando watched as first the Scarecrow and then the lion was dropped off. When it was his turn, he waved goodbye to the Tin Yorkshireman and went into the salon.  
  
When Orlando stepped into the salon he was immediately surrounded by a horde of animated stylists, all eager to drag him off in some direction or another.   
  
***  
 _~ Pat, pat here,_  
 _Pat, pat there,_  
 _And a couple of brand new straws._  
 _That's how we keep you young and fair_  
 _In the Merry Old Land of Oz. ~_  
  
The Scarecrow sighed contentedly as several singing masseurs stuffed him with fresh straw. His outer clothes had been replaced with clean duplicates. He rolled his neck luxuriously, feeling better than he had in a long time. Meeting Orlando had certainly agreed with him, witch or not.  
  
He frowned as he thought of the witch. She wanted to hurt Orlando, and over nothing more than some stupid tattoo. Now, the Scarecrow was the first to admit that he didn't know much, but he knew that he'd do anything to protect his young friend. Orlando had saved him from being stuck on that pole, and he figured he owed the boy for that. That wasn't the only reason he felt that way though, there was just something about Orlando that made the Scarecrow want to hold him close and keep him from anything that would try to harm him.   
  
***

  
_~ Clip, clip here,_  
 _Clip, clip there._  
 _We give the roughest claws_  
 _That certain air of savoir faire_  
 _In the Merry Old Land of Oz! ~_  
  
David had been nervous and slightly frightened when the 'beauty specialist', who had introduced herself as Liv, had led him into a private room. She had insisted on putting blonde highlights in his red hair and was currently attempting to convince him to let her put a bow on him.  
  
"But it would look so adorable!", she effervesced, "Just let me try! If you don't like it then I'll take it right out!"  
  
The lion shook his head, "No Liv! I'll look stupid".  
  
"You wouldn't look stupid, you'd look fantastic!", she cajoled, waving a red ribbon at him.  
  
"Do you really think so?", he asked haltingly.  
  
Liv bounced in place a little, "Of course! Is that a yes?"  
  
David bit his lip and nodded hesitantly. Liv immediately went to work, wrapping the ribbon around his neck and tying it into a pretty red bow. "There!", she said, "perfect". She guided him over to the mirror.  
  
***  
  
Orlando walked onto the corner were the cabbie had picked them up. They had all promised to meet there when they'd cleaned up. David and the Scarecrow were already waiting when Orlando arrived. The singing stylists had fussed over him and gotten him into some clean clothes. He was now wearing gray trousers with suspenders and a pink floral shirt. The last had taken some convincing, but they'd promised him it was the new spring fashion for men.   
  
The stylists had taken Sidi to a dog groomer and he was currently looking quite spiffy himself. He had a brand new green collar and had gotten a nice flea and tick bath.  
  
When the Scarecrow and the lion caught sight of Orlando, David smiled and waved. The Scarecrow just sort of stared at him. Was there something wrong with his outfit?  
  
***  
  
Twenty minutes later they were all still waiting there for the Tin Yorkshireman. Orlando and Dave had talked, complimented each other on their clothes and hair, anything to pass the time really. Whenever Orlando tried to throw a compliment the Scarecrows way, he just mumbled something and started to scan the crowd for their missing friend.   
  
Dave had begun shooting worried glances into the crowd and periodically asking where Orlando thought the Tin Yorkshireman could be. "Don't worry so much", Orlando said, hoping to relax his friends, " He's a tough bloke. He can take care of himself".  
  
"But this is a city!", the lion fretted, "Anything could happen to him and we wouldn't know!"  
  
The Scarecrow approached them cautiously. "Orlando's right David", he said consolingly, "He probably just put up a fuss about having to get cleaned up. You know how stubborn he is".  
  
As they were talking the Tin Yorkshireman snuck up behind them. He smirked before taking hold of the lions tail and giving it a tug. David squealed and turned around angrily, but all the anger left his face when he saw who was behind him.  
  
"You're alright!", the lion cried, jumping on the Tin Yorkshireman and hugging him.  
  
"Daisy! Of course I'm alright!", the Tin Yorkshireman said, snuggling the younger man in his arms.  
  
David smiled contently. At least, he smiled contently before he noticed their audience. Standing next to the Tin Yorkshireman was the cabby from earlier. "What took you so long?", David asked suspiciously as he released the older man.   
  
"Scrub, scrub, here; rub, rub, there, whether you're tin or bronze. Thats how we keep you in repair, in the merry old land of Oz", Dom said in a sing-song voice.  
  
"I really needed that", the Tin Yorkshireman commented.  
  
"Oh, a scrub and a rub... Is that what they're calling it now?", David said , stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest.   
  
Dom blushed a bit before directing them back to the carriage. "I'll take you to see the wizard now", he said sheepishly.   
  
As the group walked towards the carriage the crowd around them began to stop and look at the sky in fright. Some of them began to panic and scream. Orlando looked at the sky only to see the witch flying around overhead, white smoke spouting out of the end of her broom. "It's the Wicked Witch! She's followed us here!", he cried.  
  
"Can't that female take no for an answer?", the Tin Yorkshireman grumped.   
  
"She's writing something", the Scarecrow said.  
  
"S-U-R-R-E-N-D-E-R- Orlando or die! ~W.W.W", read Dom.  
  
A nearby woman called out, "Orlando? Who's Orlando?"  
  
Another woman responded, "The wizard will explain it! To the wizard!"  
  
Others around the women took up the call, "To the wizard!", and they all began to run to the right.  
  
"Oh dear!", Orlando cried, "Whatever shall we do!"  
  
"Well", answered David, " we'd better hurry if we're going to see the wizard!"  
  
With that the group ran to follow the crowd. The people of Oz ran through the green paved streets and towards the palace. When the crowd reached the steps of the palace a guard stopped them. "Here-- here--here-- wait a minute! Wait a minute! Stop! Stop! Stop! It's all right!", the dark haired man yelled. "It's all right everyone! Everything is all right! The great and powerful Oz has got matters well in hand- I hope-- So you can all go home! There's nothing to worry about!"  
  
As the crowd started to disperse and head back down the streets, Orlando and his friends pushed their way to the guard. "If you please sir!", Orlando called, "We want to see the wizard right away-- all four of us".  
  
The tall, dark guard cast them a bored glance, "Orders are, nobody can see the wizard! Not nobody-- not nohow!"  
  
"Oh, but we must!", Orlando insisted.  
  
"Orders are", the guard repeated, "Not nobody! Not nohow!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman sighed, sidling up to the guard and placing a heavy hand on his shoulder, "Listen-- what's your name?"  
  
"Marton", the guard supplied.  
  
"Listen Marton", continued the Tin Yorkshireman, "Why can't the wizard see us?"  
  
"He's in conference with himself on account of this trouble with the Wicked Witch of the West. And even if he wasn't you wouldn't have been able to see him anyway on account of nobody has-- not even us in the palace!", explained Marton.   
  
"But please", Orlando pleaded, "It's very important".  
  
"And I got my hair dyed just for the occasion", the lion whined.  
  
Marton repeated, "Not nobody! Not nohow!" A horn sounded inside the palace. "Ah. Pardon me. It's time for the changing of the guards".  
  
Marton walked back into the palace, nodding in acknowledgment to the guard taking his place. This guard was considerably older, shorter, and more heavyset. He had a bushy black beard and dark eyes. "What do you want?", he rumbled.  
  
"We want to see the wizard", Orlando said.  
  
The stocky man took a deep breath, "Not nobody! Not nohow!"  
  
"That's what Marton said", the Tin Yorkshireman answered dryly.   
  
"But he's Orlando!", the Scarecrow said, exasperated at the wait.  
  
The guard gave them a weighing look, "The witches' Orlando? Well-- that makes a difference. Just wait here-- I'll announce you at once". The guard left and went quickly inside the palace.  
  
"Did you hear that!", the Scarecrow exclaimed, turning to his friends, "He'll announce us at once! I've as good as got my brain!"  
  
"I can fairly hear my heart beating!", enthused the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"I'll be home in time for supper!", Orlando grinned.  
  
"In another hour, I'll be the King of the Forest!", joked David the lion.  
  
***  
  
Soon the guard came back out with a subdued look on his face. "Go home! The wizard says go away!", he barked.  
  
"Go away?", Orlando echoed.  
  
"It looks like we came all this way for nothing", the Scarecrow said sadly.  
  
"And I was so happy", Orlando said glumly, "I thought I was on my way home!"  
  
"Don't worry Orlando", the Tin Yorkshireman assured, "We're going to get you to the wizard".  
  
"We certainly are!", guaranteed the Scarecrow, "How are we?"  
  
David had a powerless expression on his face, "Would... would it do any good if I roared?", he offered.  
  
"Who at?", snapped the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"I don't know", admitted the skittish lion.  
  
Orlando plopped down to the street miserably, "Mum was so good to me-- and I never appreciated it. Running away-- and hurting her feelings". Orlando's eyes began to water and it was only with a mighty effort that he held back his sobs. "Mr. Depp said she was sick. She may be dying-- and-- and it's all my fault! Oh, I'll never forgive myself! Never-- never-- never!" The Scarecrow sat down next to the teary eyed young man and pulled him into a hug.  
  
A loud sniff was heard and drew everyone's attention away from where Orlando seated on the ground. The guard's eyes were full of tears and he was sobbing openly. "Oh! Please don't cry anymore", he sobbed, "I'll get you into the wizard somehow. Come on... I had a Mum myself once".


	10. The Great and Powerful Oz

  
The guard had pulled some strings and snuck the group (minus Sidi, "No dogs on the marble floors") into the palace. He eventually left them at the entrance to a long emerald corridor. There were no windows in the passageway and it would have been pitch black if not for the torches lining both walls. The flames shined and reflected off of the malachite walls and cast a green tint over everything in sight. The way was just wide enough to accommodate four people walking side by side.  
  
The lion had proved skittish, once he saw the dark hallway. "Wait a minute guys", he pleaded nervously, "I was just thinking... I really don't want to see the wizard this much. I better wait for you outside".  
  
"What's the matter?", Orlando asked.  
  
"He's just scared again", the Tin Yorkshireman explained.  
  
"Don't you think that the wizard will give you some courage?", the Scarecrow said encouragingly.   
  
"I'll be to afraid to ask him for it", the lion responded, biting his lower lip.  
  
"Well then", Orlando volunteered, "We'll ask him for you".  
  
"I'd sooner wait outside", David said in a timorous voice.  
  
"But why?", the Scarecrow questioned.  
  
"Because I'm still scared", the cowardly lion replied ashamedly.  
  
"Oh, come on!", the Tin Yorkshireman said, reaching over as though to pick up the lion and carry him the rest of the way.  
  
"Ohhh!", David cried out.  
  
"What happened!", asked the apprehensive Tin Yorkshireman, taking a step back.  
  
"Somebody pulled my tail!", David accused, looking at the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
Everyone looked down to the lions hands, where he was currently wringing his tail nervously. "You did that yourself!", erupted the thunderstruck Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"I-- oh...", sputtered the jittery lion.  
  
"Here, come on now", Orlando cajoled, linking an arm with David and nodding for the Tin Yorkshireman to do the same. The Scarecrow ended the chain by linking his arm with Orlando. Together they slowly made their way down the passageway.  
  
"What was that!", David asked, hearing a thumping noise descending in the distance.  
  
"Our echo", the Tin Yorkshireman said wryly.   
  
They continued on their way towards the heavy wooden double doors that dominated the end of the hallway. Their steps echoed off the walls and were getting louder and louder as they advanced on their destination. "Oh, come one- come on!", Orlando pushed, "We'll soon find the wizard!"  
  
A booming voice sounded through the thick doors and down the passageway, "The Wizard! The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz!" The friends stared in shock as the doors blew open without any apparent assistance, banging against the walls noisily. "The Great Wizard of Oz says come forward!", the blasting voice demanded.  
  
"Tell me when it's over! Oh!", the lion said apprehensively, grabbing the steady Tin Yorkshireman into a full-body hug.  
  
The four slowly and guardedly progressed towards the doorway, the Tin Yorkshireman pulling along the cowardly lion by gripping him to his side. Orlando and the Scarecrow leaned into each other and walked forward together. Stepping through the doorway, the friends found themselves in a veritable thrown room. The cavernous emerald space was elliptical and void of furniture, except for the dark wooden chair located in it's center. The walls were covered in white draperies that swayed infinitesimally with the drafts circulating inside the room. The green marble floor was uncovered and their shoes, at least Orlando's and the Tin Yorkshireman's shoes, clicked conspicuously in the silence. Behind the chair, their was a circle of green brick, which upon their entrance flared into a jade blaze.  
  
David cowered back from the sudden flames and smoke billowing up above the thrown, burying his head in the Tin Yorkshireman's chest. "Oh look at that! Look at that!", he whimpered, "I want to go home!"  
  
Soon a giant face became discernible within the viridian smoke belching forth from the fire. The four trembled and shook with fear as the visage turned it's eyes on them. The Scarecrow grabbed Orlando's hand, and the Tin Yorkshireman tightened his grasp around Daisy.  
  
"I am Oz, the Great and Powerful!", the booming voice pronounced magnanimously, "... Who are you?"  
  
The friends threw uneasy glances at each other and remained silent.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU?", the hovering mask repeated resonantly.  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman reached over and pushed Orlando forward. The young man stood there awkwardly for a second, rubbing at the sun tattoo subconsciously. "I--", he began nervously, "If you please, I-- I am Orlando... the small and meek. We've come to ask you--"  
  
"SILENCE!", ordered the face imperiously,"The Great and Powerful Oz knows why you have come. Step forward... Tin Yorkshireman!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman carefully disentangled himself from David the lion, and stepped forward, his chin in the air.  
  
"You dare to come to me for a heart, do you?", the booming voice interrogated, "You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman kept his chin pointed upward in defiance of the insults, but he was clanking a little because he was quaking slightly. "Well... Yes Sir... Yes, Your Honor. You see, a while back, we were walking down the yellow brick road, and--"  
  
"QUIET!", commanded the impressive visage, sending even the Tin Yorkshireman scurrying back. The group stood huddled together in front of the intimidating Wizard. "And you Scarecrow", the authoritarian voice indicated, "have the effrontery to ask for a brain?"  
  
The Scarecrow stalked forward, "Umm...", he replied hesitantly, "Yes your Honor. I mean, Your Excellency-- I mean-- Your Wizardry!"  
  
"You billowing bale of bovine fodder!", the floating face added harshly.  
  
"Yes, Sir.", the Scarecrow replied genially, gaining courage and trying to butter up the wizard "And I must say I admire your use of alliteration before, I didn't even know there were that many words that began with C much less--"  
  
"ENOUGH!", boomed the voice, causing the Scarecrow to fall back towards where the others were standing. "And you... Lion!", demanded the floating face. In response David groaned with fear as he came slowly forward. Once he stood before the wizard he opened his mouth as though trying to speak, but ended up falling down in a dead faint.  
  
Cries of, "Oh!", "Daisy!", and "Lion!", rang from Orlando, the Tin Yorkshireman, and the Scarecrow respectively. The friends surrounded David supportively and the Tin Yorkshireman pulled him into his lap in an attempt to get him upright.   
  
Orlando stood up and wagged a finger in the giant wizards face, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!", he indicted, " Frightening him like that, when he came to you for help!"  
  
"SILENCE Young Whippersnapper!", scolded the wizard. " The Great Oz has every intention of granting your requests!"  
  
David sat up, suddenly alert once more, "What's that? What did he say?"   
  
Orlando moved back to stand with his friends and help get the cowardly lion back on his feet.  
  
"But first, you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very small task", continued the Great Oz, "You must bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman stared with a perplexed frown on his face, "B-but if we do that, we'll have to kill her to get it!"  
  
"Bring me the broomstick, and I'll grant your requests. Now go!", he replied malevolently.   
  
"But what if she kills us first!", fretted the lion.  
  
"I-- SAID-- GO!", shouted the overhanging head. The friends, frightened by the anger of the wizard, took off back down the passageway at a sprint.

 


	11. The Haunted Forest and the Jitterbug

The Wicked Witch of the West lived in the Haunted Forrest. The forrest got it's name from the prevalent rumors about spirits abiding under it's cover. As the four men drew near to the edge they paused to take in it's ghastly appearance.   
  
The trees were black and the trunks had grown twisted. In the darkness the forest didn't resemble anything so much as a field of souls frozen in anguish; tortured branches reaching into dark foreboding clouds. Owl's and other creatures of the night calling to each other were the only sounds to be heard, everything else was swallowed by the night. Even Sidi was silent, as though he could sense the evil residing in the forrest.  
  
"And I thought the other forest was scary", Orlando muttered to himself. The friends looked at a sign post that had a strange looking black ivy growing up it.   
  
**HAUNTED FORREST**  
 **WITCHES CASTLE: ONE MILE**  
  
"One mile isn't all that far... is it?", asked the cowardly lion with a hopeful smile.  
The Tin Yorkshireman tore away some of the ivy to reveal the rest of the sign.  
  
 **I'D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU!!!!**  
  
David let out a despairing sigh, "Yes, you would". At the strange looks from the others the lion elaborated, "If the guy who write the sign were me, he'd have turned back waaaay before now. And if he hadn't, he'd turn back now".  
  
An owl hooted and the noise startled David into jumping around and trying to run back in the opposite direction. The Scarecrow and the Tin Yorkshireman each grabbed one of Davids arms and lifted him off the ground. They turned and started to carry Dave down the path into the Haunted Forrest, his legs pin-wheeling in the air.  
  
When Dave finally calmed down enough to be put back on solid, tractable, ground; the Tin Yorkshireman turned to everyone and announced, "From this point on we're on enemy ground. We have to be extra careful. And you Orlando, should have something to protect yourself with, she'll be after you most of all".  
  
The lion extending his hand to Orlando and offered him a green spray bottle, "Here, you can have my Witch Remover".  
  
"Does it work?", asked Orlando curiously.  
  
"No", David answered with a savvy smile, "but it's wonderful for threatening with!"  
  
"Oh-- ", blinked Orlando.  
  
"Here", the perturbed Scarecrow said, grabbing the spray and throwing it into the dirt beside the trail "give me that thing! It'll just get someone killed!" They all watched with shocked eyes as the spray hit the ground and then vanished.  
  
"Y- you know what?" stuttered the lion, "I b-believe there are s-spooks around here!"  
  
"That's ridiculous! Spooks!" scoffed the Tin Yorkshireman, "That's silly".  
  
"Don't you believe in spooks?", queried a wide eyed Daisy.  
  
"No. Why, only--", began the Tin Yorkshireman only to be interrupted as he was plucked into the air. The others jumped after him trying to catch his legs and pull him down to earth. Moments later he was dropped a few feet away from the place where he had been mysteriously lifted.   
  
The others ran over to help him up, David repeating, "I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I DO!", under his breath at regular intervals.  
  
***  
  
The Wicked Witch watched through her crystal ball as the cowardly lion pulled the Tin Yorkshireman into a tight hug, rocking back and forth and continuously muttering his terrified litany.   
  
She stood with a dangerous grin on her face and a hazardous glint in her eyes, "You'll believe in more than that before I've finished with you". She turned to a figure sitting on her stone windowsill. "Take your army to the Haunted Forrest, and bring me that boy and his dog! Do what you like with the others, but I want Orlando alive and unharmed! They'll give you no trouble, I promise you that. I've sent a little insect on ahead to take the fight out of them. Take special care of the boy though, I want that tattoo of his undamaged. Now, fly! Fly! Bring me that boy and his tattoo! Fly! Fly! Fly!"  
  
The figure, who's eyes reflected sharply in the moonlight, spread his wings and swooped into the sky.  
  
***  
  
The four men were silent as they picked their way down the path that split through the woods. Sidi had long ago stopped barking at every weird noise that passed to his ears. David still had a harsh grip on the Tin Yorkshireman's arm, intent on keeping him grounded. Orlando and the Scarecrow were walking close enough that their arms brushed as they walked. They jumped at every creak and crunch that emerged from the hidden depths of the forrest, pressing closer together after each scare. They even jumped at the sound of the lion growling.   
  
When they turned they saw that David's eyes were crossed as he glared at a large bug that was sitting on his nose. The bug was fushia and covered in turquoise spots. "What is it?", David cried, hopping from foot to foot and tugging on the Tin Yorkshireman's arm, "Get it off me! Get it off! Get if off!"  
  
"Hold still! Hold still", the Tin Yorkshireman said, shaking his arm free and using it to flick the bug away from the worried lion. Once the bug was in the air it extended translucent wings and flew right at the Tin Yorkshireman, landing on his neck. "Ow!", he complained, slapping at the bug as he felt it bite through this tin skin, "Since when can a bug eat through metal!"  
  
The bug took flight once more, this time landing square on the Scarecrows back. The Scarecrow flailed his arms around trying to knock it off. Orlando helpfully brushed it away, but not before it took a bite of his friend. The bug disappeared for a moment before, "Ow! Something bit me too!", Orlando cried out.   
  
The bug flew to Orlando's eyes level, and suspended itself in the air there for a moment before flying back into the cover of the trees. A rhythmic beating began to sound from somewhere in the distance. The wind began to whistle in time with the drumming and soon even the trees were swaying with the tune. Next, a high pitched howling, like that of a wounded animal, could be heard.  
  
 _~Did you hear what I just heard?~_ , David sang in a whisper.  
  
 _~That noise didn't come from no ordinary bird~_ , the Tin Yorkshireman sang back.  
  
"It may be just a cricket, or a critter in the tree's", Orlando suggested, unable to keep himself from talking in rhythm with the music. The howling continued.  
  
 _~ It's giving me the jitters, In the joints around my knees~_ , joined in the Scarecrow,  
 _~ Oh, I think I see a jijik_  
 _And he's fuzzy and he's furry_  
 _I haven't got a brain_  
 _But I think I ought to worry!~_  
  
 _~ I haven't got a heart_  
 _But I've got a palpitation~_  
  
 _~As Monarch of the Forest_  
 _I dont like the situation~_ agreed the lion.  
  
Orlando's eyes darted between the trees and his friends,   
_~ Are you gonna stand around_  
 _And let them fill us full of horror?~_  
  
They all froze in bemusement at the fact that Orlando had sang something. Surprisingly the lion was the first to respond,  
 _~I'd like to roar 'em down--_  
 _But I think I've lost my roarer~_  
  
The friends moved to stand in a circle, back to back, and stare warily into the woods. Sidi padded around the group protectively. The tree's were quivering and both the music and the howling were only getting louder.  
  
"What's happening?", Orlando asked.  
  
"A better question would be who's doing this", countered the Tin Yorkshireman.   
  
_~Maybe it's a whozis?~_ , David wondered out loud.  
  
 _~ It's a whozis?_ ~, sang back a confused Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
 _~Maybe it's a whatzis?_ ~, sang the Scarecrow.  
  
 _~It's a whatzis?~_ , the Tin Yorkshireman repeated.  
  
Orlando held his breath a moment as though trying to contain himself, before bursting into song:  
 _~ Whozat?_  
 _Who's that hiding_  
 _In the tree top?_  
 _It's that rascal_  
 _The Jitter Bug._  
 _Should you catch him_  
 _Buzzin' round you_  
 _Keep away from_  
 _The Jitter Bug!_  
 _Oh, the bats...._  
 _And the bees_  
 _And the breeze in the trees_  
 _Have a terrible, horrible buzz._  
 _But the bats and the bees_  
 _And the breeze in the trees_  
 _Couldn't do what the Jitter Bug does._  
 _So be careful_  
 _Of that rascal_  
 _Keep away from-- ~_  
  
 _~The Jitter bug! ~_ , supplied his friends.   
  
As if they'd planned it the four men moved apart at the same moment. When the lion got close enough to the edge of the tree line; a tree grabbed him in a bear-hug. The Tin Yorkshireman quickly ran over to help his friend get free. David growled and thrashed against the tree, trying to rip himself away.   
  
"Don't worry Daisy!", called out the Tin Yorkshireman, raising his axe. The lion closed his eyes, not able to bear watching the axe swing down.  
  
Orlando had backed up in shock at seeing yet another sentient tree, and was taken hold of by a gnarled black branches. He was held tightly against the rough bark despite his struggles. When he turned his head, his eyes met the hollow amber gaze of the tree. Sidi lunged at it, trying to bite it, but the bark was to thick.  
  
"Orlando!", called the Scarecrow running over and attacking the tree with his arms and legs. After a few kicks, the Scarecrow was getting frustrated, but luckily the Tin Yorkshireman and the newly freed lion joined him in attempting to help Orlando. The Tin Yorkshireman had taken his axe and started to chop at the tree before it finally relented and let Orlando go.   
  
The Scarecrow pulled Orlando into a hug, and before either of them knew what was happening, they were dancing. The Tin Yorkshireman and David were in the same position... dancing uncontrollably. They held hands as their feet speedily moved in intricate patterns beneath them. The trees around them continued to sway in rhythm to the song and the natural music was coming to a crescendo.   
  
_~ In a twitter,_  
 _In the throes_  
 _Oh, the critter's_  
 _Got me dancing on a thousand toes~_   
  
The four friends moved closer together and soon they were dancing in a group. They moved frantically, spinning around each other as though they were square dancing. The music began to get louder and faster, and as the tempo increased, they couldn't help moving faster too. When the music suddenly cut out, the men practically collapsed on the ground next to each other.   
  
Laying there flat on their backs and breathing heavily, they silently tried to recover. Their ears were ringing so loudly from the music, and from their exertion, that they didn't notice the soft sound of beating wings approaching their location.


	12. The Winged Monkeys

High in the sky over the path flew an army of Winged Monkeys. Their leader, Andy, circled above the men laying on the ground, using binoculars to see them clearly. "Grab the boy", he ordered, "He's the one the Witch wants. And the dog. As for everyone else... just have fun, scare them a bit".  
  
"What does she want with him?", asked his second in command, Lawrence.  
  
Andy sighed, "He's got something she wants. That's all I know... a tattoo I think"  
  
"I wonder where it is", pondered John, one of the lower level captains, lasciviously.  
  
"What's she going to do to him?", continued Lawrence.  
  
Andy rubbed an grubby hand on his forehead, "I don't know. There's nothing we can do to help him though Lawrence, so get that out of your head. If we keep resisting her, Kate will turn us into something even worse than Winged Monkeys".  
  
Andy and his army had once been guards at the Wicked Witch's Castle. It was a decent paying job, but some of what they had been ordered to do was unsavory, and eventually Andy had had enough. He told Kate as much, and that he intended to take his army and go look for work elsewhere.  
  
That was his mistake.  
  
Kate wasn't about to let a large group of men, who knew many of her secrets, just walk away. She cast an evil spell on them, and transformed them into Winged Monkeys. The thick brown fur, small stature, and leathery wings kept them from leaving as they had planned. Ever since then, the men had been enslaved to her will. She even forced them to wear degrading bellhop uniforms.  
  
"I hope she's not going to hurt him", Lawrence said softly.  
  
Letting out another sigh Andy turned to address his soldiers, "Let's just get this over with".  
  
With that, the Winged Monkeys attacked.  
  
***  
  
Orlando turned his head to look at the Scarecrow laying juxtaposed to him, "That was odd".  
  
David kicked out his leg where it was covered by one of the Tin Yorkshireman's arms, "It certainly was".  
  
"I kind of liked it", said the Tin Yorkshireman, his chest still heaving and a salacious smile on his face.  
  
"You sang", commented the amused Scarecrow to his young friend.  
  
Leaning back and looking at the sky Orlando scrunched his nose in disgusted remembrance, "Shut up". Orlando stared at the small bit of sky visible through the canopy of trees, his mind still a little fuzzy from the bite. He squinted, watching as small dark dots descended from the clouds. "What's that?", he asked.  
  
David followed Orlando's example and looked up, "Oh my goodness!", he cried, covering his head with his arms, "The sky is falling!".  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman splintered into laughter, "The sky isn't falling!", he explained analyzing the ever nearing shapes, "Anyone with eyes can see that those are monkeys"  
  
"Monkeys!", exclaimed the lion, rolling himself into a ball, "That's even worse! Nasty little buggers! They piss on everything, and throw their own feces! Horrible little beasts! Just horrible!"  
  
Orlando turned away from the forms moving in the air to look at the Tin Yorkshireman, "Are you telling me that it's raining monkeys?", he asked skeptically.  
  
That just pulled the Tin Yorkshireman into another fit of laughter, this time taking the Scarecrow along for the ride. "That's silly", the Scarecrow said, shaking with mirth.  
  
"Yes", agreed the Tin Yorkshireman more soberly than before, his eyes tracking the Winged Monkeys descent warily- they were only about forty feet away, "They're clearly flying".  
  
"Oh God!", came the muffled ululation from David.  
  
***  
  
The Winged Monkeys has watched in confusion as the men below them made no attempt to flee. However, they were thankful because this made their job a hell of a lot easier. When they finally swooped down, with the intent of picking up Orlando, the four men finally reacted.  
  
In a flurry of activity the monkeys dived among the panicked men. A few grabbed Orlando under his arms and yanked him off the ground. When his friends tried to rush to his aid the monkeys attacked them. Sidi barked and snarled, trying to jump after the creatures who had taken Orlando. Sidi was then picked up by one of the smaller Winged Monkeys, he was happy though, because now he was able to follow Orlando.  
  
The Scarecrow was lifted, with a monkey holding each limb, and then pulled apart, causing straw to fly everywhere, "Help!", he cried. The Tin Yorkshireman stood by the lion and swung his axe wildly in the air. The Lion was growling and clawing at the monkeys as they flew above his head.  
  
Orlando was striving to break the grip of the Winged Monkeys holding him, but they were too strong. "Help!", he called out, "Let me go! Scarecrow!".  
  
When he saw the Monkeys stomping on piles of straw he let out an anguished scream, "NO!!!!". He renewed his struggles, not caring, in his need to get to his friend, that the Winged Monkeys were carrying him further and further from the ground. All to soon though, he was too far away to even see his friends any more.  
  
***  
  
When the Winged Monkeys dispersed, there were only two people left standing.  
  
"They took Orlando!", stated the furious Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Where's Scarecrow?", asked a sorrowful David.  
  
"Help! Help!", came a soft cry from about five feet away. The two men ran over to a pile of straw at the top of which sat the Scarecrow's head, complete with cowboy hat. His shirt was ripped open and most of his straw had been pulled out and scattered.  
  
"Oh!", cried the lion, "What happened to you?"  
  
"They tore my legs off and they threw them over there", pointed the Scarecrow, " and they took my chest out and they threw it over there!"  
  
"They sure knocked the stuffings out of you, didn't they", joked the Tin Yorkshireman tiredly.  
  
"Don't stand there talking!", shouted an unamused Scarecrow, "Put me back together! We've got to find Orlando!"  
  
David wandered over to where the Scarecrows legs were and picked one up in each hand, 'Now let's see", he said lifting up one leg and looking at it closely, "--this goes-- Oh, I wish I were better at puzzles!"  
  
"Wait a minute!", suggested the Tin Yorkshireman, "That's his left one. He walks bad enough already".  
  
"Oh poor Orlando!", repined David, "We'll never see him again!"  
  
"Who do you suppose they were?", worried the Scarecrow, "And where did they take him? Oh! A fine thing-- to go to pieces at a time like this!"  
  
"Now, now", the Tin Yorkshireman said consolingly, hoping to forestal any more hysterics, "Don't fret. We'll get you back together!"  
  
***  
  
Orlando and Sidi sat in a dank room in the highest tower of the Witches Castle. The room was small and had only one window, overlooking a steep rocky ledge. There was a raised dais in the center of the room on which a pedestal with the witches crystal ball rested. The only other piece of furniture was Orlando's stool, located against the back wall, opposite of the heavy padlocked wooden door. The walls however, were lined with shelves that held an assortment of strange and terrible knickknacks. Sidi lay at Orlando's feet, suspicious eyes on the Winged Monkey residing across the room, keeping watch over the two prisoners.  
  
The Witch banged the door open, trouncing into the room. Her face split into a satisfied smirk as she approached the seated young man. Sidi jumped to his feet, barking angrily at their kidnappers. Kate extended her hand, the smirk never leaving her face, as she muttered a spell that froze Sidi in place. She walked over to the stilled dog, patting his head in mock affection, " What a nice little dog! And you, my dear", she said to Orlando, "what an unexpected pleasure! It's so kind of you to come and visit me in my loneliness!" She next gestured to Sidi, using some sort of spell to enclose him in a barrel.  
  
"What are you going to do to my dog? Give him back to me!", demanded the terrified Orlando.  
  
The maddening smirk was still on the Witch's face, "All in good time, my pretty. All in good time!"  
  
"Oh please give him back to me!", Orlando begged.  
  
"Certainly-- Certainly-- as soon as you give me that tattoo".  
  
"But the Good Witch of the North told me not to!", came the conflicted reply.  
  
"Very well!", brayed the Witch, "Throw that barrel in the river and drown him!"  
  
Orlando put a horrified hand to his mouth, stepping forward to block the Winged Monkey from the barrel. "No! No! Here-- you can have your old tattoo", he insisted, beginning to unbutton his shirt, "but please give me back my dog".  
  
"That's a good little boy", she said, her eyes gleaming in anticipation as Orlando undid the last button, "I knew you'd see reason". She sidled forward, her hand shaking as she reached out to touch Orlando's lower abdomen where the tattoo was situated. As soon as her hand touched bare skin, she received a harsh electric shock and had to pull back in pain.  
  
"Ahh!", she cried out angrily, "You little..."  
  
"I'm sorry! I didn't do it!", Orlando explained desperately, "Can I still have my dog?"  
  
"No!", snarked Kate, before continuing as though to herself, "Fool that I am, I should have remembered-- that tattoo will never come off, not as long as you're alive!"  
  
Orlando's eyes began to water, "What are you going to do", he asked, his voice full of dread.  
  
"What do you think I'm going to do?", she snorted, "But that's not what's worrying me-- it's how to do it. These things must be done delicately or you hurt the spell".  
  
As this conversation was going on Sidi poked his head out of the top of his barrel. He had managed to shake off the spell, and had been waiting for the Witch to be distracted before he made his move. Sidi jumped out of the barrel and ran behind Kate and out the door.  
  
"Run, Sidi, run!", Orlando encouraged through his tears.  
  
"Catch him, you fool!", she ordered Andy. The Winged Monkey scurried after the dog, who had quickly found his way down the spiral staircase and out the front drawbridge.  
  
Orlando ran to the window, "Run, Sidi, run!", he shouted joyfully, watching as Sidi ran over the bridge and to freedom "He's gotten away!"  
  
The Witch lurked up behind him, grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to turn away from the window. "Which is more than you will! Damn you and your dog! You've been more trouble to me than you're worth, one way or another-- but it'll soon be over now!" She pulled a dusty hourglass down from one of the higher shelves and put in on the dais next to the pedestal. She threw a spell at Orlando that knocked him to the floor near the dais. "Do you see that?", she asked sharply, "That's how much longer you've got to be alive! And it isn't long, my pretty! It isn't long!"  
  
Orlando stared up at her fearfully.  
  
"I can't wait forever to get that tattoo!", she added absentmindedly as she left the room and locked the door behind her. Tears streamed down Orlando's cheeks as the lock clicked into place. He turned to look at the hourglass, whose black sand was falling with every passing second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N from 2005: "There is a comment in this chapter about the Scarecrow walking funny, which I feel the need to explain. That line is in the movie, I checked. I dont get it. I put it in anyway though, in case I come across something later in the script/story that necessitates it being said. If that doesn't happen, then everyone will just have to live with it being there 8*)
> 
> Oh, and the idea of John the Winged Monkey lusting after Orli came from macberly! So keep an eye on that ;'D"


	13. The Winkies

The Tin Yorkshireman and the lion had finally managed to put the Scarecrow back together. "There", said the lion, "That's the best we can do without any pins".  
  
"Don't worry about me, I'm alright", insisted the Scarecrow, "We've got to worry about Orlando!"  
  
"But how can we find him?", persisted the Tin Yorkshireman, "We don't even know where he is! Look! There's..."  
  
Sidi ran into the clearing where they'd been working. Sidi had run nonstop from the time he'd escaped in an effort to find his masters friends. Now that he had found them, he started to bark and yip impatiently.  
  
"... Sidi! Where'd he come from?", David finished for the Tin Yorkshireman. Sidi continued to bark, rearing up in place and motioning in the direction of the Witches Castle.  
  
"Why, don't you see? He's come to take us to Orlando!", answered the Scarecrow excitedly. Sidi pranced over to the Scarecrow and started to nudge him in the right direction with his nose. "Come on guys!", called the Scarecrow, following Sidi through the dark forest.  
  
***  
  
Sidi led them over the rocky landscape until they came to a dizzying ledge. The bog barked at them once before running up the almost impossibly steep and craggy hillside. The Scarecrow was the first to attempt to scale it.  
  
After a bit of coaxing-... and pushing, from the Tin Yorkshireman, Daisy began to climb as well. The Tin Yorkshireman nervously watched them climb for a minute, before taking a deep breath and starting up after them. From the top of the hill the Scarecrow called out encouragement, trying to speed his friends up and hasten their rescue of Orlando.  
  
"Oh!", complained Daisy, struggling to pull himself up, "I feel like I am made of lead... I hope my strength holds out!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman, whose eyes were closed and who currently had a death-grip on David's tail, returned with, "I hope your tail holds out!" For, you see, the brave and brawny tin man had a secret. He was terrified of heights. It was all he could do just to hold onto Daisy tail and let himself be pulled up.  
  
As soon as he could, the Scarecrow hauled both his friends up. He was so worried about Orlando that he didn't even take the time to tease the Tin Yorkshireman over his phobia. Instead, he just led them over behind an outcrop of rocks and looked at the building sitting across a moat from them.  
  
"What's that?", David questioned, his voice full of awe and trepidation.  
  
"That's the castle of the Wicked Witch! Orlando must be in that awful place!", revealed the Scarecrow.  
  
"Oh, I hate to think of him in there", keened the lion, close to tears, "We've got to get him out!"  
  
"Don't cry!", demanded the Tin Yorkshireman, "I can't stand to see you cry! If you cry, then I'll start crying!"  
  
"Don't you cry now!", the Scarecrow put in, "We haven't got the oil-can with us and you've been squeaking enough as it is".  
  
"I do no squeak!", resounded the Tin Yorkshireman defensively.  
  
Suddenly David put a hand over both of their mouths to keep them quiet, "Who's that?", he whispered.  
  
Two muscled men in tight black leather pants and red leather jackets emerged from the front door of the castle. On their heads were tall black hats with straps that went under their chins. They were both large and tall with broad shoulders.  
  
"Those are the Witch's Winkies", explained the Scarecrow.  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman snorted, "Her What!?", and David giggled.  
  
The Scarecrow rolled his eyes, "Winkies... Don't blame me, that's just what they call themselves. The Witch has a sick sense of humor, she probably hired them just for their name"  
  
"Well", reasoned the Tin Yorkshireman, "The name does have some positive connotations, and well, just look at them!"  
  
The men had moved closer to the hidden group of would-be-rescuers, and were whispering to each other. They both had chiseled features and fantastic physiques. "I've got a plan of how to get in there!", exclaimed the Scarecrow.  
  
"Great!", the lion said, "he's got a plan!"  
  
"You're going to lead us in!", enthused the Scarecrow.  
  
"Yeah!", David agreed, before thinking about what had been said, "... Wait! What? Me?"  
  
"Yes you!", nodded the Scarecrow.  
  
"Wait just a minute here", interrupted the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
The two other men continued their conversation as though the Tin Yorkshireman hadn't spoken at all. "All right, I'll go in there for Orlando-- Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch-- guards or no guards-- I'll tear 'em apart!", growled David, "I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you guys to do..."  
  
"What's that?", they asked.  
  
"Talk me out of it", whimpered the lion.  
  
"Don't be so over-dramatic", scolded the Scarecrow, "It's nothing as bad as all that. I just want you to go in first and make a distraction".  
  
***  
  
Orlando was still sitting where the Wicked Witch had left him. He was half laying down and resting his head upon his arms and his arms on the dais, sobbing quietly. He still hadn't shaken off the Jitter Bug bite and would every so often, break out singing a variation of the lullaby his mother had taught him.  
  
~ Someday I'll wake... and rub my eyes  
and in that land beyond the sky  
you'll find me... ~, he sniffed out melodically.  
  
After a while he wiped his tears, and sat up straight trying to be brave. "There has to be a way out of here", he said to himself. He got up and began to inspect the room, looking for some weakness to exploit. Once he had given the room a good once over, he realized that he was just going to have to wait for his friends to figure something out and come save him.  
  
Orlando sat dejectedly on the dais, and looked out the window to where he'd seen Sidi run off. He hoped they were all alright. His friends: The Tin Yorkshireman, Daisy... and the Scarecrow. He bit his lower lip, remembering the state his Scarecrow had been in when he last saw him, "I'm frightened, I'm frightened mum-- I'm frightened!", he whispered at the ceiling.  
  
"Orlando?", called a soft female voice, "Orlando-- where are you? It's me, it's your mother! We're trying to find you. Where are you?"  
  
Orlando looked around the room, until his eyes locked on the crystal ball. In it was a wavering picture of his mother. She seemed to be moving about, searching for him and calling out his name. He rushed forward and kneeled before the crystal, "I'm here mum! I'm here on Oz. I'm locked up in the Witches castle... and I'm trying to get home to you!"  
  
The image started to fade and Orlando called out to it desperately, "Oh mum, don't go away! I'm frightened! Come back! Come back!"  
  
When Orlando's mother had disappeared completely, it was quickly replaced by a vaporous image of Kate. "Mum-- Mum-- come back!", she mocked, "I'll give you a mum, my pretty!"  
  
***  
  
The Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Yorkshireman moved along among the rocks. They waited while another guard came out, and spoke to the two large men standing at the edge of the drawbridge. The newcomer smirked, before punching the tallest man on the shoulder and walking back into the castle laughing. The two remaining guards smiled at each other and walked over to the castle. The smaller of the two giants leaned back against the wall before pulling his friend into a passionate kiss.  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman licked his lips and turned to the lion, who was blushing so hard that he looked as though he was about to faint. "It looks like they are plenty distracted to me", he drawled.  
  
The Scarecrow raised an eyebrow, "Well, that wasn't my plan-- but it seems to be working, doesn't it?"  
  
The three men snuck across the drawbridge with Sidi leading the way. Once they made it across, they slowly made their way towards the entrance.  
  
"Oh God! Eric!", cried the smaller of the guards, as the other man attacked his neck. The friends had frozen where they stood at the noise, and were standing in the midway between the bridge and the door. They were close enough to hear when Eric licked up to the other guards ear and panted, "You're so hot Karl. Do you want me to take you out here? Right up against the wall?" Karl moaned his approval of the idea and the two went back to making out.  
  
Sidi padded over until he was standing in the entranceway and was soon joined by the Scarecrow. David stared to move, but walked into the Tin Yorkshireman who was still staring. When he hit the larger man, a clank sounded and caused Sidi to bark.  
  
"Shhh! Sidi", whispered the Scarecrow, grabbing Sidi's muzzle and holding it closed. Karl froze but kept his eyes closed, and pulled at the hem of Eric's jacket to get his attention. For the moment though Eric was quite distracted, trying to open the ties on Karl's pants. Karl, who knew he had heard something, only yanked harder on the jacket. David saw the action, and knew they didn't have much time. On pure instinct he pushed the Tin Yorkshireman forward and into the doorway.  
  
The even louder clang that resulted from this caused both guards to jump away from each other and turn to where the lion stood. David opened his mouth, but was speechless with fright and couldn't make a sound. The tree men stared at each other, as the Scarecrow and the Tin Yorkshireman hid in the doorway.  
  
Eventually the guards came back to their senses and pounced on Daisy. Karl got behind him and grabbed his arms, pulling him back against his chest and off the ground a little. "Who are you and what do you think you are doing?", demanded Eric who had closed in in front of them to prevent any attempts at escape.  
  
David was still too terrified to talk. He tried to think of what the Tin Yorkshireman would do in a situation like this and came up with a plan of his own. He could feel the smaller guards unabated excitement digging into his rear end. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself, he wiggled back into the guard. "I was walking through the forest, which I live in-- I am a lion, you know", he purred, "I was walking by and I saw the two of you, and I thought 'Now that seems like a pleasurable distraction', and decided to come over and see if you wanted some... company"  
  
The two guards looked at each other over David's shoulder before simultaneously dragging their eyes over David's body. Karl smirked, releasing the lion, "Hmmm... That is an interesting proposal. What do you think Eric?"  
  
Eric looked thoughtful for a moment before narrowing his eyes at David, "You say you live in the forest? But you're not really a lion, so what would you be living in a forest for?"  
  
David's eyes widened in insult, "I am to a lion!", he insisted, before coming back to himself and going on with the plan. He dropped to his knees and rubbed his cheek against Eric's hip in the way a cat would rub against someone's leg, "Or close enough", he added in a husky voice.  
  
***  
  
In the doorway, the Scarecrow stood with a bemused smile on his face. The Tin Yorkshireman's hands were clenching and unclenching spasmodically at his sides as he watched what was going on, though whether from arousal or jealousy, it wasn't clear. "We've got to do something!", he growled. The Scarecrow raised an eyebrow, taking in the Tin Yorkshireman's tense posture.  
  
"I hate to ruin David's fun, but you're right. We've got to get in there and help Orlando".  
  
***  
  
"Oh, Eric, can we keep him!", Karl asked as he stroked David's hair. The lion was still busy nuzzling Eric's hip, inching minutely closer to where Eric really wanted him and trailing his fingers down the larger mans thighs.  
  
Eric, too aroused to talk, just pulled Karl into a kiss in response. David pressed his cheek firmly against the Eric's hip and looking around, wondering what was taking his friends so long. During the kiss, Karl had been pulled progressively closer, and now his erection was flush with the side of David's head.  
  
Suddenly, both the men against him fell away. When David looked up he saw that the Scarecrow and the Tin Yorkshireman had snuck up behind them, and bashed them on the back of their heads with stray rocks. The Tin Yorkshireman yanked David up by the arm, "What were you thinking", he whispered harshly.  
  
"Calm down", the Scarecrow said, "It was a perfectly good plan, taking advantage of their situation like that. Besides, now we have uniforms".  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman muttered obscenities as he and the Scarecrow undressed the two guards and put on their uniforms.  
  
"Now... what about Daisy?", pondered the Scarecrow.  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman grinned, "He can be our prisoner".


	14. The Rescue

Orlando had taken to pacing the room nervously. The sand in the hourglass had been slowly but surely slipping away, as had his time. Soon, the Wicked Witch would return, and then it would all be over. He'd never see his home again. His Mum, Sean, Dave... Viggo. He'd never see them again, never get a chance to say goodbye. And worst off all, they would never know what had become of him. They'd think he ran away with Sidi and never looked back.  
  
And there was nothing he could do about it. His only option was to wait and be rescued. He was sure Sidi had run straight back to his new friends and was at this very moment leading them here. They had to make it in time. They just had too.  
  
Orlando thought back on the time he'd spent over the rainbow. He couldn't help but smile at the memories. It had all been so strange, but it was still a wonderful adventure, discounting Kate of course.  
  
He thought of the Scarecrow, the first real friend he had made in this extraordinary place. He really was a lot like Viggo. He'd taken such good care of Orlando: fighting the apple trees, Orlando reminisced with a laugh, trying to keep him safe. He'd even gone so far as to defy the Wicked Witch for him. But then again, so had the Tin Yorkshireman, so maybe it didn't mean anything special...  
  
Orlando was drawn out of his thoughts by a muted flapping sound. He glanced over to the window. A Winged Monkey landed just on the window ledge and smiled at Orlando.  
  
"Hello there pretty", he said as he hopped into the room. Once inside, the creature folded his wings and adjusted his vest, before moving towards Orlando.  
  
***  
  
The Scarecrow and the Tin Yorkshireman traveled into the castle incognito, with the Tin Yorkshireman holding Daisy's arms behind his back and the Scarecrow holding Sidi. They looked around the cavernous entrance hall, at a loss for which direction would take them to Orlando. Luckily they were soon questioned by other guards.  
  
"What are you doing in here with that lion?", asked one Winkie.  
  
"He's a prisoner", answered the Scarecrow in a deeper than normal voice, "The Witch wants us to put him in with the boy"  
  
The guard nodded, "Alright then, just take him up to the top room in the highest tower". The guard gave them an intricate salute and then seemed to wait for them to respond in kind. They hefted the lion, and Sidi respectively, into the air a bit to show that their hands were occupied. The guard just laughed and waved them towards the stairwell.  
  
***  
  
"Who are you and what do you want?", asked Orlando.  
  
The Winged Monkey didn't answer, instead taking a few more steps in Orlando's direction, his eyes glued to Orlando's exposed chest. Noticing this Orlando fisted the fabric to hold his shirt closed. "I asked you a question", he prompted anxiously, taking a step back.  
  
John lifted his eyes to Orlando's face and stretched his lips into a raunchy smile. 'I'm John. And I saw you before and figured that I'd come see if you were okay. Make sure you weren't lonely or anything".  
  
"Yeah. Well, I'm just fine. So I guess you should be on your way...", Orlando responded primly.  
  
Having disregarded Orlando, John continued his approach. " No need to be shy", he cooed, seeing Orlando back away a step for every step John had taken, "I just want to have a look at you".  
  
"You can see me fine from where you are", Orlando answered with narrowed eyes.  
  
John chuckled, "But I want a closer look. I want to see this famous tattoo of yours".  
  
Orlando circled around until he was standing in front of the door, as far from John as possible.  
  
"Oh don't be that way", John said, fluttering his wings and following Orlando to the other side of the room. "I'm just trying to be friendly-- get to know you better".  
  
"I think you're being a bit too friendly", Orlando commented coldly. "Now if you don't mind", he said, waving his free hand in a gesture for John to give him some space.  
  
John just flew forward until he had Orlando pressed against the door. Orlando swallowed around the lump in his throat that had formed in response to being so close to winged creature. "I've asked you nicely once already", Orlando said in an intrepid voice, "back off, mate".  
  
The lewd grin that had been on John's face sharpened and he pressed even closer, "And why should I? Why should I listen to anything you tell me. I don't follow your orders".  
  
"If you don't move back, so help me I'll...", Orlando threatened.  
  
"You'll what?", interrupted John snidely, "Bat me to death with those eyelashes of yours? You're in no position to threaten me!"  
  
Orlando lifted his chin in defiance, "Why are you still bothering me?"  
  
"A man has got needs", was the rough response.  
  
Orlando risked letting go of his shirt to push John away with both hands, "Well you aren't exactly a man are you?", he inquired brashly.  
  
Fire built up in John's eyes as he glared at the young man.  
  
***  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman and the Scarecrow dragged the lion up the final spiral staircase, Sidi at their heels, and into a small foyer at the top of the tower. The three stood there and listened, but they couldn't hear anything.  
  
"Do you think the Witch is in there with him?", whispered the Scarecrow.  
  
"I don't know. Though I don't suppose it matters at this point. We're here. It's now or never", whispered back the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Do.. do you think it'll be polite-- dropping in like this?", stuttered the lion quietly.  
  
Sidi sniffed at the door and began to paw at it frantically. "Come on, we'd better make sure.", said the Scarecrow, walking over to the door and knocking. "Hello? Orlando, are you in there?"  
  
***  
John was just about to respond to Orlando's taunt when the knocking started. Orlando smiled triumphantly at the Winged Monkey. "My friends are here. If you know what's good for you you'll leave before they see you!"  
  
Snarling, John backed away and flew to the window, "You haven't won yet. I'm going to go tell the Witch that you're trying to escape!"  
  
As he took off out the window Orlando hurriedly began to button up his shirt.  
  
"It's us!", he heard David call out.  
  
"I'm here!", Orlando answered, "She's locked me in! Oh I knew you'd come for me!"  
  
***  
  
"Listen guys!", said the Scarecrow ecstatically, "It's really him! We've got to get this door open!"  
  
The three men began to shove at the door, trying to break it down. Soon both the Scarecrow and the Tin Yorkshireman realized that it simply wasn't working. The lion kept at though, repeating, "Open the door. Open the door. Open the door", under his breath.  
  
"Don't push anymore!" "Stop pushing!", shouted the two costumed men synchronically, pulling David away from the door.  
  
"Oh!", pouted the lion, "I was only trying to help!"  
  
***  
  
When Orlando realized that the pounding had stopped he looked over at the hourglass. "Hurry! Please hurry! The hourglass is almost empty, I haven't much time left! And a Winged Monkey has already left to tell the Wicked Witch that you're here!"  
  
***  
  
Suddenly remembering how short they were on time, the rescuers speedily thought of a plan. They removed their Winkie outfits and the Tin Yorkshireman stepped forward with his axe in hand.  
  
"Stand back!", called out the Tin Yorkshireman, as he began to chop through the door. Soon the wood started to splinter and a hole began to form. With each blow from the axe the hole got larger and larger until Orlando managed to squeeze through.  
  
'Oh Scarecrow! I knew you'd get here in time!", Orlando said, throwing himself into the Scarecrows' arms. The Scarecrow hugged him back tightly before taking hold of Orlando's shoulders and pushing him back in order to see him better.  
  
"Did they hurt you?", he asked hysterically.  
  
Orlando shook his head, before moving on to greet everyone.  
  
"Come on!", reminded the Tin Yorkshireman, "We haven't any time to waste!"  
  
The reunited group of friends ran down the staircase; jostling and knocking into each other because of the lack of space. They made it down to the first level and burst off of the stairs and into the main entranceway. As soon as they were in the room, the door swung shut in front of them and they realized that they had run right into an ambush. They were surrounded on the ground by Winkie guards, spears pointed directly at them; and in the air by a host of flying monkeys. A loud, hideous cackling sounded behind them. They turned around and saw that the Witch was standing at the top of the stairs.  
  
"Going so soon?", she intoned darkly, "I wouldn't hear of it. Why, my little party is just beginning!"  
  
The Winkie guards slowly advanced towards them. Forcing them to huddle together in front of the door. Sidi began to bark and growl, baring his teeth in warning.  
  
"Trapped like rats!", lamented the Scarecrow.  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman looked over at the lion, whose eyes were wide with fright. "Go ahead-- do something! Roar! Roar!"  
  
In response, the Winkies roared deafeningly, and stopped once the spears were only inched away from the ensnared mens chests. David whimpered softly and titled his head at the Tin Yorkshireman, "What good will it do us?"  
  
Kate soon spoke again, drawing their attention back up to the top of the stairs. "That's right. Don't hurt them right away. We'll let them think about it a little first!" Orlando noticed that the same monkey from before was hovering at Kate's side. He looked away when it winked at him."How does it feel, my little visitors?", continued the Wicked Witch, "Can you imagine what I'm going to do to you?"  
  
The Scarecrow looked around desperately. His eyes finally stopping up at the ceiling above their heads, where a huge candelabra hung over the hall. It was held up by a rope that was tied to a sconce next to the door.  
  
"Well Orlando", the Witch said, holding up the finished hourglass, "It looks like your time has run out!" With that she flung the hourglass at his feet, throwing up a cloud of black dust. She laughed as Orlando and his friends coughed. The Scarecrow however, took advantage of the cover and grabbed the Tin Yorkshireman's axe, using it to cut the rope holding up the candelabra.  
  
It crashed down on top of the Winkies, knocking many of them down. It had also taken down many of the Winged Monkey's that had been flying nearby. As the downed minions struggled to get up Orlando and his friends made a run for it.  
  
"Seize them!", shrieked the Witch, "They've gotten away! Stop them! Stop them!"  
  
The Witch, her Winkies, and the Winged Monkeys ran down the hall after the escapees. Once they were far down the hallway, the friends peeked out of a dark recess and went back to the main hall. They all grabbed the handle to the door and tried to yank it open, but it was stuck.  
  
"It's no use trying the door anymore! Is there another exit?", asked the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"They're coming back!", yelped the lion, hearing the clatter of approaching footsteps.  
  
"Oh-- upstairs, quickly!", instructed the Scarecrow.  
  
As they disappeared up the stairs Kate and her minions reentered the hall. "There they go!", she yelled, "They've gone upstairs! Now we've got them! Half of you go that way-- half of you that way! Hurry! Hurry! Go!" She started to hit the Winkies with her broom in an effort to speed them up.  
  
The friends had gotten to the tower and were running down the battlement when they ran into the first group of Winkies. They turned and tried to run in the opposite direction but were blocked by a second group of Winkies.  
  
"Where do we go now?", asked a breathless lion.  
  
The Scarecrow looked around, and saw that the only way out was they way they had come. "This way! Come on!", he called, leading them back down the stairs. They shuffled down the spiral staircase and flooded though a doorway about halfway down. It appeared to be a servants hall. The room was shadowed and lit only by torches distributed sparsely along the walls. It was full of scraps of cloth, tools, and other accouterments of housework.  
  
Unfortunately the Witch and her Winged Monkeys were waiting from them. The monkeys moved to barricade the stairs, cutting off their only avenue of escape. Soon, rumbling was heard as the Winkie guards made their way into the room, again pointing their spears at the group to keep them still.  
  
"Well", cackled Kate, "ring around the rosy-- a pocket full of spears! Thought you'd be pretty foxy, did you? Well, I'm going to start in on you right here-- one after the other!" David half hid himself behind the Tin Yorkshireman, while Orlando and the Scarecrow jockeyed for position in front of one another. Eventually the Scarecrow managed to put himself between Orlando and the Wicked Witch.  
  
Noticing the movement Kate lurched forward, making all of the friends tremble and try to back away. They couldn't move far though, as there were Winkies with Spears at their backs, and that only made her laugh harder. "And the last to go will see the first three go before him! And his mangy dog too!"  
  
With a smile the Wicked Witch lifted her broom and held it up to one of the torches dotting the wall. When the bristles caught fire, she lowered the broom and waved it at the friends. "How about a little fire, Scarecrow?", she asked snakily. She pushed her broom into the group, catching the Scarecrows' arm on fire.  
  
The Scarecrow screamed and began to wave his arm around wildly. Daisy shouted and the Tin Yorkshireman tried to grab the Scarecrow and smother the flames with his hands. Orlando spotted a mop and bucket in the corner behind them and used the distraction to break away from the group and run to it. He pulled the mop out and ran back to his friends with the bucket of water. Without thought he threw the contents of the bucket at the Scarecrow. The water doused out the flames, but also had an unforeseen side effect.  
  
The Witch had been standing behind the Scarecrow and when Orlando tossed the water, about half of it continued on past the flaming Scarecrow and splashed Kate. As soon as the water hit her, she began to scream, "You cursed brat! Look what you've done!". The Witch started clawing at her self as smoke began to billow out of her dress. "I'm melting! Melting! Oh-- what a world! Who would have thought a little boy like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!?" Before their very eyes Kate began to shrink, and melt, slowly turning into a puddle of smoking greenish slime. As she went, her screams lost coherency, and at the last were nothing more than inhuman wails.  
  
The four friends watched the process in horrified amazement. Andy flew over to the puddle, and picked up Kate's hat which was floating on top of it. Strings of slime clung to the hat, and he dropped it almost immediately. Then he turned to Orlando, "She's... she's... dead! You've killed her!"  
  
The friends all tensed at these words.  
  
"I--", Orlando stammered, "I didn't mean to kill her... really I didn't! It's just-- that-- The Scarecrow was on fire!"  
  
Andy turned to the other Winged Monkeys, and they all descended to stand near him. In complete silence all of the monkeys kneeled before Orlando. "Hail to Orlando! The Wicked Witch is dead!", shouted Andy.  
  
"Hail! Hail to Orlando-- The Wicked Witch is dead!", the rest of the Monkeys shouted back joyously. Even the Winkies began to join in the chanting.  
  
The tension drained out of the entire room. "You mean, you're... you're all happy about it?", the lion asked tentatively.  
  
Andy smiled, "Happy isn't a strong enough word for how I feel. Kate has been keeping us as slaves. She put a terrible curse on us... now that she's dead, the curse will begin to fade. Within a week we'll all be our old selves again!"  
  
"Old selves?", asked the Scarecrow.  
  
"We used to be men, before the curse. We thought we'd be stuck as Winged Monkeys forever!", Andy explained.  
  
"Why didn't you just kill her your selves?", queried the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"We didn't know how", said Andy with a shrug.  
  
The leader of the Winkies stepped forward, "We're also very happy-- now she wont be able to hit us with her broom anymore..."  
  
"The broom!", Orlando said, remembering their mission, "May we have it?"  
  
"Please" said Andy, "and take it with you!"  
  
"Oh-- Thank you so much!", Orlando exclaimed, turning to his friends, "Now we can go back to the Wizard and tell him that the Wicked Witch is dead!"  
  
As the friends left the castle and walked into the forrest they could hear the Winkies and the Winged Monkeys singing:  
 _~ The Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _The Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _Hail - Hail - the Witch is dead._  
 _Which old Witch? - the Wicked Witch._  
 _Hail - Hail - the Wicked Witch is dead._  
 _Ding Dong! The Witch is dead._  
 _Which old Witch?_  
 _The Wicked Witch!_  
 _Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _Wake up, you sleepy head_  
 _Rub your eyes_  
 _Get out of bed_  
 _Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _She's gone where the Goblins go_  
 _Below -- below -- below!_  
 _Yo ho, let's open up and sing_  
 _And ring the bells out._  
 _Ding Dong! The merry-oh_  
 _Sing it high_  
 _Sing it low_  
 _Let them know_  
 _The Wicked Witch is dead!_  
 _Ding Dong! The Witch is dead._  
 _Which old witch?_  
 _The Wicked Witch_  
 _Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead! ~_  
  
The singing was so loud and so jubilant that it transformed the Dark Forest. It was not nearly as scary leaving, as it had been coming in.


	15. The Wizard and his Gifts

Before they knew it, the friends were once again standing outside the enormous green hall of the Wizard of Oz. This time, however, the doors did not blow open on their own. Instead they stood, still and heavy, blocking their path. It took a group effort to push the doors open. The cumbersome doors scraped noisily against the marble floor, as though resisting being opened.  
  
When they entered the hall, it appeared deserted. The draperies hung inert in the calm air of the large room. The stone circle behind the thrown was quiet and the friends waited for it's flames to rise.  
  
A loud clank was heard and then smoke sputtered out laboriously. Eventually the flames flickered to life and the Wizards huge face shimmered into existence. "Can I believe my eyes?", the Wizard asked, with an annoyed tone in his voice, "Why have you come back?"  
  
Orlando stepped forward, broom in hand, "Please, Sir. We've done what you told us. We've brought you the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West". Leaning down to place the broomstick on the floor in front of the thrown, he added, "We melted her".  
  
"Oh", the Wizard replied slowly, "... you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful!"  
  
"Yes, sir", said the Scarecrow, stepping up to join Orlando. "So we'd like you to keep your promise to us, if you please, sir".  
  
"Not so fast!", blustered the Wizard, "Not so fast! I'll have to give the matter a little thought. Go away and come back tomorrow!"  
  
"Tomorrow!", squeaked the lion, dragging the Tin Yorkshireman up with him to stand by their other friends.  
  
"Tomorrow?", Orlando echoed more softly, "But, I want to go home now".  
  
"You've had plenty of time already!" added the Tin Yorkshireman heatedly.  
  
"Yeah!", agreed the Scarecrow.  
  
"Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful Oz!", blasted the disembodied voice, "I said come back tomorrow!"  
  
Orlando flushed angrily and accused, "If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!"  
  
"Do you presume to criticize the Great Oz? You ungrateful creatures!", boomed the floating head, "Think yourselves lucky that I'm granting you an audience tomorrow, instead of ten years from now!"  
  
During the argument Sid had begun to sniff around the room. He made a bee-line toward one of the white draperies set behind the thrown. It was waving mysteriously amongst the it's smooth fellows. Sidi bit the corner of the drapery and tugged at it, revealing a small alcove. A man stood inside leaning over a set of controls and talking into a microphone. When he noticed that the curtain was open he furiously attempted to pull the curtain closed. Sidi, however kept his jaw clamped on the fabric, keeping it opened.  
  
The friends stared wide eyed, as the man continued to battle Sidi for the curtain. He was on the short side, with dark hair and eyes. He was dressed in a green suit, and looked quite important. "Who are you?", called out Orlando, with the sneaking suspicion that this man was familiar.  
  
The mans head turned sharply in Orlando's direction. When he saw the group staring at him he ducked behind the control console and out of sight. "Oh! -- I-- Pay no attention...", the man began in a panicked voice, before groaning to himself, closing his eyes, and banging his head audibly against the side of the control board. His hand appeared on the controls and groped around until he found the microphone and pulled it down with him.  
  
"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Go-- before I lose my temper! The Great and Powerful Oz has spoken!", resonated the voice from the floating head.  
  
The friends shared a confused look before approaching the alcove. Orlando stepped inside and peered over the controls at the man huddled on the floor. "Who are you?", he asked again, with the strange feeling that he already knew the answer.  
  
Still holding the microphone the man replied, "Well, I-- I am the Great.. and Powerful-- Wizard of Oz?", the vociferous amplification trailed off uncertainly.  
  
"You are?", asked a disbelieving Daisy.  
  
""Ummm... yes", replied the man, in his own voice this time.  
  
"I don't believe this", said the Tin Yorkshireman tiredly.  
  
"No", the man said softly, pulling himself to his feet, "I'm afraid it's true. There's no other Wizard except me".  
  
"You.. humbug!", shouted the Scarecrow.  
  
"Yeah!", agreed the lion angrily.  
  
"Yes", concurred the Wizard, stepping over to stand with the friends " that's-- that's exactly so. I am a humbug!"  
  
Orlando nodded fiercely, "You're a very bad man!"  
  
The Wizard patted Orlando on the shoulder comfortingly, "Oh, no my dear. I'm a very good man... I'm just a very bad wizard".  
  
"Well, you'd better be good enough to send Orlando back to Canterbury!" said the Scarecrow pointedly, poking the Wizard in the chest.  
  
"Uh-", the Wizard said with a grimace, rubbing the spot of contact, " now, please don't be angry with me. I'll-- I'll do anything you say, only... only if you don't shout at me. It makes me nervous!"  
  
"It makes you nervous?", questioned an incredulous Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Yes", said the Wizard, holding his chin up defensively.  
  
"Well, what about us?", inquired the lion buoyantly, "What about the heart that you promised the Tin Yorkshireman?"  
  
"Well, I--", started the Wizard.  
  
"And the courage that you promised Daisy?", interrupted the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Well, I--"  
  
"And the Scarecrow's brain?", piped up Orlando.  
  
"Well, I--", tried the Wizard, " but you've got them! You've had them all the time!"  
  
"Oh no we haven't!" the friends all cried together.  
  
"You won't get around us that easily!", stated the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Not nohow!", the lion added.  
  
"Well, I--"  
  
"No!", pronounced the Scarecrow forcefully, "You promised us real things-- a real brain!"  
  
"A real heart!"  
  
"Real courage", finished the lion, "That's what we want".  
  
"You do?", asked the Wizard sadly, "Boys, you're aiming low. You not only surprise me, you grieve me". Becoming suddenly elegant, the Wizard went on, walking over to a drapery and pulling a black bag out from behind it, "Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the earth-- or slinks through slimy seas has a brain!" The Wizard stood in front of the Scarecrow and smiled, "Back where I come from we have universities, seats of great learning-- where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts-- and with no more brains that you have! But they do have one thing you haven't got! A diploma!"  
  
The Wizard reached into the bad and pulled out several diploma's. He sorted through them before presenting one to the Scarecrow. "Therefore, by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitatus Committeeatum e plurbis unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Th.D."  
  
"Th.D.?", asked the Scarecrow hopefully.  
  
"Yes!", answered the Wizard, "That's a doctorate of Thinkology!"  
  
The Scarecrow held the diploma firmly against his chest and scrunched up his face in thought. "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!". The Scarecrow smiled broadly at himself, "Oh joy! Rapture! I've got a brain!"  
  
The Scarecrow shook the Tin Yorkshireman's hand, and the lions before hugging Orlando. The Wizard moved on to the lion, and led him away from the group. The others followed them and the Scarecrow called out, "How can I ever thank you!"  
  
"Well, you can't", said the Wizard, before turning to Daisy, "As for you, my fine feline friend-- you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You're under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come from, we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have. But, they have one thing you haven't got! A medal!" The Wizard reached deep into his sack and pulled out a golden medal, handing it to the lion, "Therefore, for meritorious conduct, extraordinary valor, and conspicuous bravery against Wicked Witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage!"  
  
That said, the Wizard leaned forward and kissed the lion once on each cheek. Daisy blushed hotly and looked down at the medal he held in his hand. "Aww, shucks. I'm speechless!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman had stepped between David and the Wizard after the kisses. he was therefore perfectly placed for the Wizard to continue handing out rewards. "And as for you my galvanized friend, you want a heart? You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. I could have been a world figure, a power among men, a- a successful wizard, had I not been obstructed by a heart".  
  
Looking back at Daisy for a moment, the Tin Yorkshireman whispered, "But I still want one".  
  
The Wizard followed the Tin Yorkshireman's gaze, and cleared his throat, "Yes... I see. Well, back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phil.. er-- ah-- philander--thra-- uh-- They're called good deed doers. And their hearts are no bigger than yours. But, they have one thing you haven't got! A testimonial!"  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman waited as the Wizard bent to search his bag. He soon pulled out a bright red, heart shaped watch. "Therefore, in consideration of you kindness, and your obvious... affection, for those around you, I take pleasure in presenting you with a small token of our returned esteem and... um, affection. And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged my how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others".  
  
The Tin Yorkshireman rushed over to David, 'It ticks! Listen!" He held it up to the lions ear. "It really ticks!"  
  
"Yes!", the lion responded excitedly, before pointing to the medal which was pinned to the cloth over his chest, "Read.. read what my medal says!" Looking, the Tin Yorkshireman saw the word COURAGE engraved into the gold.  
  
The Scarecrow, who was standing a few feet away, put the hand that wasn't holding his diploma to his forehead and thought hard, "I'll bet it says Courage!"  
  
"Ain't it the truth!", Daisy said, hopping a little in place.  
  
"Oh", Orlando said softly, "They're all wonderful".  
  
"Hey!", the Scarecrow said suddenly, "What about Orlando?"  
  
"Yeah-- how about Orlando", put in the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"Ah", began the Wizard.  
  
"Yes! Orlando next!", prompted the lion trustfully.  
  
"Yes. Orlando, I--", the Wizard started.  
  
"Oh, I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me", Orlando said morosely.  
  
"Well, no-- no-- on the contrary! I--", the Wizard protested, holding the bag open and pushing his arm inside and rummaging about. "I-- ahh--", he mumbled encouragingly, digging deeply into the bag. The others looked on, trying to peek inside.  
  
After a moment, he stopped searching and looked at Orlando resolutely. "Well, you've forced me into a cataclysmic decision. The only way to get Orlando back to England, is for me to take him there myself!"  
  
"Oh, will you?", Orlando pleaded, "Could you? Oh, but are you a clever enough Wizard to manage it?"  
  
"Child-- you cut me to the quick!", scolded the Wizard playfully, "I'm from the other side of the rainbow myself, born and bred in the heart of the western wilderness of the good ol' US of A! Premier balloonist par excellence to the Miracle Wonderland Carnival Company-- until one day, while performing spectacular feats of stratospheric skill never before attempted by civilized man, an unfortunate phenomena occurred. The balloon failed to return to the fair".  
  
"It did?", asked the enthralled lion.  
  
"Yes", the Wizard continued, "There I was, floating through space-- a man without a continent!"  
  
"Weren't you frightened?", Orlando queried sympathetically. Orlando had a good idea, at this point, of just who this wizard reminded him of-- Mr. Depp, the fortune teller. They were almost identical right down to their mannerisms. The only difference was that the Wizard had a better fashion sense.  
  
"Frightened?", repeated the Wizard amusedly, "You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death-- sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was PETRIFIED", he laughed. "Then suddenly the wind changed, and the balloon floated down into the heart of this noble city, where I was instantly acclaimed Oz, the First Wizard de Luxe!"  
  
The friends stood together listening, enraptured by the tale.  
  
"Times being what they were", explained the Wizard, "I accepted the job-- retaining my balloon against the advent of a quick get-away. And in that balloon, my dear Orlando, you and I will return to the Land of E Pluribus Unum! Where we will of course, send immediate word to your family, before sending you on the next boat back over to Merry Old England, and consequently back into their loving arms!"


	16. There's no place like home

The day was sunny and bright. It seemed as though all of Oz had come to send the Wizard off. The friends and the Wizard stood by the hot air balloon, on a platform right in the middle of the town square. Green appareled people crowded around, trying to finally get a look at the mysterious wizard.  
  
Orlando and his friends quietly and tearfully said their goodbyes. The Wizard climbed up onto the edge of the balloons' basket, one hand gripping a corner support. "Good people of Oz!", he announced, "This is positively the finest exposition ever to be shown. I your Wizard par ardua ad alta, am about to embark upon a hazardous and technically inexplicable journey into the outer stratosphere!" He reached out and pulled Orlando toward the basket. Orlando climbed inside and Sidi jumped in after him, standing on his back paws with his front paws on the edge of the basket. "I am going to confer, converse, and otherwise hob-nob with my brother wizards.", continued the Wizard, "And I hereby decree that until what time-- if any-- that I return; the Scarecrow, by virtue of his highly superior brain, shall rule in my stead. He will be assisted by the Tin Yorkshireman-- by virtue of his magnificent heart; and the lion-- by virtue of his courage! Obey them as you would me! And-- ah-- well, that's all. Thank you!"  
  
The Scarecrow took hold of Orlando's hand and squeezed hard once before letting go with a forlorn look on his face. Orlando smiled tightly, before nodding at his other friends. The Wizard began to untie the ropes holding the balloon to the ground.  
  
As soon as the balloon started to lift off, something mundane happened. A cat meowed. Unfortunately this normally inconsequential event, at that particular moment in time, had dire consequences. The cat meowed because she was tired of being held and was hoping to be put down. The sound made Sidi's ear perk up and his eyes search the crowd. When the woman who had been holding her, let the cat down, Sidi did what any dog would do. He barked once, before jumping out of the balloon and chasing the cat.  
  
Orlando cried out for him, leaning out of the balloon and trying to snatch Sidi back. When his dog got away, Orlando climbed out after him, shouting, " Come back here, Sidi!"  
  
Daisy and the Scarecrow rushed off, attempting to apprehend Sidi. "Somebody stop that dog!", yelled the lion.  
  
From inside the balloon, and aghast wizard called, "This is highly irregular procedure! This is absolutely unprecedented!" The Tin Yorkshireman had stayed behind when the others followed Sidi-- he was holding the last rope, trying to keep the balloon from rising any further.  
  
"Help!", yelled the Tin Yorkshireman, "The balloon is going up!"  
  
"You've ruined my exit", pouted the Wizard.  
  
Once Orlando grabbed Sidi's collar, he tried to compel the dog to follow him back to the balloon, "Oh! Come back! Don't go without me!"  
  
"I can't come back!", the Wizard admitted, "I don't know how it works!"  
  
"No!", Orlando cried, letting go of Sidi and falling to his knees as he watched the hot air balloon drift away.  
  
"Goodbye folks!", shouted the Wizard waving excitedly. The people of Oz waved back and bid their wizard farewell.  
  
"Now I'll never get home!", sniffed Orlando.  
  
His friends slowly came up behind him. The Tin Yorkshireman and the lion stood at his shoulders, and the Scarecrow crouched down in front of him. "Stay with us, then, Orlando. We all love you. We don't want you to go", Daisy said tearfully.  
  
"That's very kind of you", Orlando responded bleakly, "but this could never be like Canterbury. Mum must have stopped wondering what happened to me by now. Oh, Scarecrow, what am I going to do!?".  
  
The Scarecrow held Orlando as the boy sobbed into his shirt. Looking up at the Tin Yorkshireman and the lion for help, the Scarecrow saw someone even more useful. "Look-- here's someone who can help you!", he said, pulling away from Orlando and pointing at the sky.  
  
The four friends, and the majority of the denizens of the Emerald City, watched as a glittering bubble descended before them. The Oz people backed away as the bubble burst and the Good Witch of the North appeared. Orlando scrambled to his feet and stood in front of her in entreaty, "Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?"  
  
Cate smoothed her dress daintily, before gracing Orlando with a radiant smile, "You don't need to be helped any longer, Orlando. You've always had the power to go back to Canterbury".  
  
"I have?", Orlando asked, perplexed by the notion.  
  
"Then why didn't you tell him before?", the Scarecrow questioned.  
  
Her smile turning a bit sardonic, Cate responded, "Because he wouldn't have believed me. He had to learn it for himself".  
  
"Well, Orlando", Dave asked, "what have you learned?"  
  
"Well, I--", Orlando began, realizing that most of the city was listening, "I think that it-- that it wasn't enough just to want to see Viggo and Mum-- and it's that-- if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right?"  
  
Cate giggled, "That's all it is!", she said , "I was afraid you'd never figure it out!"  
  
"But that's s easy!", exclaimed the Scarecrow, "I should have thought of it for you!"  
  
"And I should have felt it in my heart", said the Tin Yorkshireman.  
  
"No", Cate interceded, "He had to find it out for himself. Now-- that magic tattoo will have you home in two seconds!"  
  
"Sidi too?", Orlando inquired optimistically.  
  
"Sidi too", assured the Good Witch.  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Whenever you wish", Cate said simply.  
  
"Oh dear-- that's too wonderful to be true!", Orlando chirped, before a sudden frown took control of his features, "It's going to be so hard to say goodbye. I love you all, too!" Orlando hugged the Tin Yorkshireman, "Goodbye Tin Yorkshireman. Oh. don't cry. You'll rust!"  
  
"I'm not crying", insisted the Tin Yorkshireman as he backed away, discreetly wiping away his tears. " Now I know I have heart", he whispered to himself, "because it's breaking".  
  
The lion stepped forward, watching his feet as he toed the ground beneath them. "Oh, goodbye, David", Orlando said with a wistful smile, "You know, I know it isn't right, but I'm going to miss the way you used to holler for help before you found your courage".  
  
"Well", the lion smiled back, "I would never have found it if it hadn't been for you. I wouldn't have found a lot of things". Daisy moved back to stand with the Tin Yorkshireman, leaving Orlando and the Scarecrow standing a bit separated from the others.  
  
"So, you're really going?", asked the Scarecrow softly.  
  
Orlando nodded, "Afraid so".  
  
The Scarecrow wrapped his arms around Orlando and whispered in his ear, "Now that I've got a brain, I can figure all the different ways I am going to miss you".  
  
Orlando hugged him back tightly, "Oh Scarecrow! I think I'll miss you most of all!"  
  
Cate cleared her throat, "Are you ready now?"  
  
Pulling back, Orlando snuffled, "Yes. Say goodbye, Sidi". Sidi barked once, before joining his master.  
  
Smiling sweetly, Cate instructed, "Then close your eyes, and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself-- 'There's no place like home; there's no place like home; there's no place like home', over and over again".  
  
Orlando closed his eyes and did as he was told. Everyone watched, anticipating some magical exhibition... but nothing happened.  
  
"What's wrong?", Orlando asked feverishly, "Did I do something wrong?"  
  
Cate stood calmly, tapping the end of her wand on her chin for a moment. "Oh! Goodness!", she exclaimed, "Sorry about that. I warned you, that I can get a bit muddled. You're not the one with the shoes, I gave you the tattoo". She laughed, "I wish I'd done that on purpose. You looked pretty funny, tapping your shoes like that".  
  
Orlando stared at her with his mouth hanging open, "You're such a..."  
  
"Witch?", she supplied, "Guilty as charged. Now, do you want to go home?"  
  
Orlando took a deep breath before nodding.  
  
"Alright then, tattoo boy. All you need to do is rub your tattoo, picture your heart's desire, and repeat to yourself, 'there's no place like home, there's no place like home', etc."  
  
"You're sure this time?", Orlando asked hesitantly.  
  
Cate rolled her eyes, but nodded.  
  
Orlando closed his eyes, put his hand on the tattoo and rubbed it in a circle, "There's no place like home", he said. A vision of the Munchkins standing outside their houses and waving popped into his head.  
  
Continuing to rub the tattoo, he chanted, "There's no place like home". Kate's green face and evil laugh assailed his senses.  
  
"There's no place like home". The Wizard peaked over the edge of the control panel, and smiled timidly.  
  
"There's no place like home". Daisy jumped into the Tin Yorkshireman's arms and Dave smiled shyly at Sean as he climbed into his truck.  
  
"There's no place like home". The Scarecrow energetically danced around the yellow brick road in front of the corn field. Viggo put down his bucket and leaned his hip against the pig pen.  
  
"There's no place like home". His mother smiled at him.  
  
"There's no place like home". Orlando felt a fuzzy feeling creep up his spine and pressed his eyes closed even tighter. The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was Viggo's face.


	17. One brain, one heart, one courage, and one home

Orlando lay quietly on his bed, wrapped securely in his blankets. His eyes fluttered and he mumbled, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home", while tossing his head and trying to force his way back into consciousness. His mother, who had been seated in a chair next to the bed, leaned over and stroked his forehead.  
  
"Orlando? Orlando, are you awake?", she whispered.  
  
"There's no place like home. There's no place...", Orlando mumbled before he opened his eyes and took in where he was. "Mum?"  
  
"Yes, dear. I'm here."  
  
"Oh Mum!", Orlando cried, pushing himself into a sitting position, "Is it really you?"  
  
Sonia smiled, "Yes, darling."  
  
As they spoke, a strange looking man walked past the window, his jacket jingling merrily. "Hello, there! Anybody home?", called Johnny, sticking his head through the open window.   
  
"Mr. Depp!", Orlando exclaimed.  
  
"I just dropped by because I heard that you got caught in the big storm. Well, you seem all right now!", said Johnny happily, "And I see your dog found his way home too!"  
  
Orlando looked down and realized that Sidi was sleeping in the corner of the room. Sidi woke up for a second, raised his head and blinked at Orlando, before closing his eyes and falling back into his nap.   
  
"We've been so worried about you", Sonia explained in a relieved voice, "that I forgot to tell you. While you've been ill, Dave managed to charm the authorities into revoking the order of destruction against Sidi!"  
  
"Really!", Orlando asked, amazed.  
  
"Yes", Sonia replied, "Viggo and I were too distraught to do much of anything. But Dave stepped in and took care of everything, with Sean's help. He even got Dr. Weaving to rush out here and see you! You got quite a bump on the head-- we kind of thought there for a minute that you were going to leave us."  
  
"How awful!", Johnny said from the window.  
  
"But I did leave you, Mum-- that's just the trouble. And I tried to get back for days and days!"  
  
Sonia moved forward and helped Orlando lie back down. "There, there, lie quiet now. You're alright. You just had a bad dream."  
  
Having heard the voices inside the room, three men peaked inside, and finding it's occupant cognizant let out relieved sighs. "You're awake!", Viggo exclaimed, coming into the room and kneeling by Orlando's bedside. Sean and Dave followed in more slowly, and stood at the foot of Orlando's bed.  
  
"Sure he is.", Sean said, "You alright there lad?"  
  
"Yes", Orlando answered, "But it wasn't a dream-- it was a place. And you were there. And you-- and you and you were there!", he continued pointing at all of his friends in turn.   
  
"Really?", Johnny asked, his voice full of mirth. The others just laughed.  
  
"But you couldn't have been, could you?", Orlando said, abashed.   
  
"We dream lots of silly things when we--" his mother began.  
  
"No, mum-- this was a real, truly live place. And I remember some of it wasn't very nice, but most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, 'I want to go home'. And they sent me home". Everyone in the room was staring at him bemusedly. "Doesn't anybody believe me?", Orlando asked.  
  
Viggo smiled and held Orlando's hand, "Of course we believe you, Orlando".  
  
Orlando returned the smile, before looking down at Sidi, "Oh, but anyway, we're home! Home! And this is my room-- and you're all here! And I'm not going to leave ever, ever again, because I love you all!"  
  
***  
  
After a few days of bed rest, Orlando was up and about, and everything was back to normal. Better than normal in fact, because some things had changed in his absence.   
  
Firstly, Orlando had been right. It was only a matter of time before Sean and David got back together. Apparently, during their time locked in the storm cellar, the two men had come to their senses. Sean had admitted to being in love with Dave, and after that it hadn't taken much for the veterinarian to return the sentiment. Dave had, assured as he was of the older mans affection, made Sean grovel a little first, much to Viggo and Sonia's amusement.   
  
Secondly, he'd only had to see Kate once. When she had tried to visit the newly awoken young man, Viggo had told her off. Orlando had heard the whole thing.  
  
***flashback***  
  
"Hello there", Kate said, skipping down the drive with a basket of flowers.  
  
Viggo had looked up from his work with a frown, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I've come to visit Orlando", she said snidely, as though daring him to question her right to be there.  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea", Viggo stated calmly.   
  
"Good thing I don't make a habit of listening to the help then, isn't it", Kate said darkly, trying to move past Viggo.  
  
Crossing his arms over his chest, Viggo blocked her way. "I've been thinking", Viggo said, "and I know what you're trying to do".  
  
Kate narrowed her eyes, "What does that mean?"  
  
"It means, I've figured out your little scheme", Viggo said firmly, "And I don't like it one bit. So, I suggest you go home and stay there".  
  
"How dare you--", Kate shrieked.  
  
"I'm not letting you by, Kate", Viggo explained cooly, "So you might as well leave".  
  
Kate huffed, but turned around, "I've never been so insulted in all my life!", she muttered as she walked home.  
  
***end flashback***  
  
Ever since then, Viggo had helped Orlando avoid the annoying blonde. This also led to the happy coincidence that the two of them had been spending a lot more time together. At the moment they were both seated on the fence that surrounded the Bloom farm. Orlando had packed a picnic lunch and the two of them were enjoying it, while simultaneously hiding from Kate.   
  
When they finished the meal they just remained perched on top of the fence, watching the sky and making conversation. "So", Viggo questioned curiously, "that dream you were talking about the other day, what was it about?"  
  
Orlando smiled fondly in remembrance, "I can still barely believe that it was a dream. It all seemed so real".  
  
Viggo reached into the basket to see if there was anything left. He pulled out an apple, "Only one?", he asked, "Here, you should have it. You could use a little meat on your bones". As he handed Orlando the apple, their hands touched. Viggo couldn't help but let his hand linger over Orlando's soft skin.   
  
Orlando watched Viggo's face as their hands touched. He remembered when the same thing had happened with the Scarecrow, and again found himself wondering if it had really been only a dream. Orlando took the apple and stared at it a moment.   
  
"My dream", Orlando started, "was very strange. I was in a whole different world. The twister took me their, and I had to find my way home. There was this witch who was trying to stop me. She looked a lot like Kate actually". Viggo laughed but nodded for Orlando to continue. "I was sent to find a wizard, who would be able to send me home. On the way, I met three men, who reminded me of you, Sean, and David. Anyway, we traveled together and found the wizard, and I was sent home".  
  
Viggo looked into Orlando's eyes searchingly, "One of these men... he reminded you of me?"  
  
Orlando blushed and took a bite of the apple to but some time to think of a response. When he swallowed, he looked Viggo in the eyes and said, "Yes. The very first one I met. He was always helping me, and saving me-- just like the real you".  
  
It was Viggo's turn to blush now, "It seems this dream was very realistic. I'm glad he was there for you-- in your dream, I mean".  
  
"Yeah, me too. He protected me from the witch, the same way you're helping me with Kate. But do you know what the most interesting part of my dream was?" Viggo shook his head. "The most interesting part was when I had to leave. I was so sad. I was going to miss everybody so much... especially the Scarecrow".  
  
"The scarecrow?"  
  
Orlando giggled, "You. I was going to miss you. It made me realize how much I care about you". Orlando inched closer to Viggo, so that their thighs were touching while they sat on the fence. "And if the dream was as realistic as it seems to be, then it made me realize how much you care about me, too".  
  
Viggo was nearly holding his breath at Orlando's closeness. But he didn't move back-- Orlando took this as a good sign. "Viggo", Orlando whispered, leaning into Viggo, "what would you think if I told you I wanted to kiss you?"  
  
"I", Viggo swallowed, "I--", he looked into Orlando's eyes, so close to his own face, and responded the only way he could think of. He kissed him.  
  
It was a wonderful, passionate, life altering kiss. And it was the first of many, wonderful, passionate, earth shattering kisses. When they pulled back, they were both panting and smiling so wide that their cheeks hurt. "Wow", Orlando whispered, raising a hand to his tingling lips.  
  
Viggo's eyes twinkled as he gazed lovingly at the younger man. Then he looked past Orlando's shoulder in surprise, "Hey look! A rainbow! I don't even remember it raining..."  
  
Orlando turned around and looked at the sky, "I learned something else in my dream", Orlando whispered as he turned back to Viggo and rested his head on the other mans shoulder, "There's no place like home".  
  
***  
  
THE END


End file.
